Hat full of stars

I pray for the courage to tell him this one day

2009-11-26T08:02:00.003+08:00

Went on a 50mm walk, originally uploaded by faz k.

"Don't let the imaginary person in your head keep you from loving the real one right in front of you."

Fink - This Is The Thing

2009-10-17T11:59:00.001+08:00

I don't know if you noticed anything different
It's getting dark and it's getting cold and the nights are getting long
I don't know if you even noticed at all
That I'm long gone baby, I'm long gone

And the things that keep us apart keep me alive and
The things that keep me alive keep me alone

This is the thing

I don't know if you notice anything missing
Like the leaves on the trees or my clothes all over the floor
I don't know if you'll even notice at all
Coz I was real quiet when I closed the door

And the things that keep us apart keep me alive and
The things that keep me alive keep me alone

This is the thing

Parked or chained?

2009-10-09T17:33:00.003+08:00

I sorted out the parking, dear, originally uploaded by faz k.

Friend: Hey, you took this photo?
Me: Yeh.
Friend: It figures.
Me: What do you mean?
Friend: That boat on the water is like you. You’re single, you’re meeting people, you’re ready to go places.
Me: er - I’m a boat?
Friend: That padlock there is like you too, kinda – maybe your heart – you got those chains around your heart somehow. People might not see it at first cos the chain’s so darn long. In fact, even YOU don’t see them chains. You’re wondering why you’re not moving forward, why you’re alone. How can you when your heart’s all closed? Unlock it! Open up! Sure, you gave your heart away to someone special to you and things didn’t turn out ‘happy every after’. You can be free – it’s up to you. Like this boat too – let it move with the river flow, y’know?
Me: I’m a boat?
Friend: *smacks her hand on her forehead*

******

That was close - I thought she'd manage to finally nail me with that sharp observation. She's not too far off the point, though...

picture details: Taken with James, with 1/20sec, f/3.5, 18mm focal length on my 18-55mm kit lens, ISO 400, handheld.

When life puts you in an empty coach, make pictures!

2009-10-08T10:02:00.003+08:00

district 9 and a half, originally uploaded by faz k.

All right - perhaps a rather lame attempt at that 'making lemonade from the lemons life gave you' line, but what the heck - I think you know what I mean ;)

Of course it's tough making your way along this world by yourself. We smile and nod when people tell us to 'chin up - you're never alone' yet wish sometimes they don't say these things. They mean well, and so do we when we find ourselves saying the same things to others.

I'm sure you've seen or at least heard of the slideshow that likens this life to a train journey. You get people come on board and sit with you in your train coach. They get off at their stops & other people board the train and join you. There are stretches of that journey when you're by yourself. That's ok. That's the 'me' time that you can use to hold a mirror up to see deep inside you. Have you been good travel companions? Have you shown interest in your travel buddy's journey? How much have you listened to the stories from other people in your train coach? Has it been a good trip from them too? Sure, you poke them a bit when their snores get too loud (it's an overnight train) but do you get rattled when they prod you because your snoring kept them awake some other nights?

When you're done looking into the mirror, put it down and look out the window. There's still a whole wide world out there to see. Your train's still on track, chugging along. Enjoy the trip, and make pictures as you go along. They're your memories.

Pic info: taken with my James (EOS 500D), 1/125sec, f4.0, 18mm focal length on my 18-55mm kit lens, ISO 200.

Withdrawal syndrome - at least until Season 2 is out

2009-10-07T01:04:00.001+08:00

Dream
send me a sign
turn back the clock
give me some time
I need to break out
make a new name
let's open our eyes
to the brand new day

Lie to me* theme performed by Ryan Starr

#2: Adding copyright information to your pictures

2009-10-03T06:25:00.001+08:00

I've always thought I could only add copyright information to my pictures during post-processing. I've used Picasa & Lightroom for this purpose before. Now, thanks to the Canon EOS Digital Rebel T1i/500D Companion by Ben Long I can now use Canon EOS Utility software that came with my 500D to store a custom copyright message in my pictures. This is useful for me to prove ownership of my images, especially the ones I share via my flickr, jpgmag & twitter.

I plugged James (that's what I call my 500D) into the laptop, using the USB cable, and powered on. The EOS utility window will launch. I suggest you go through these steps too:

From that first screen, click Camera Settings/Remote Shooting, & you'll see the window in picture #2.

Click on the tool button (it's about halfway down the window) - I've circled it in red.

In the Set-up Menu section, click on the Copyright notice entry.

Enter your information and click OK. I also configured the Owner's Name field, since I was there.

Mr Long advised that pressing the Menu button on the camera, navigating to the 3rd tool menu, choosing Clear Settings & pressing the Display button can confirm that we've set the copyright info correctly. I did that, and I saw my name displayed on the LCD screen.

After closing the application and unplugging James, I took a photo to check if the updated data would show in the info screen. I wasn't disappointed.

So hey - I learned something new today. Put in this info one time, and this way works for me fine. If this can be beneficial to other 500D owners, that's cool too.

Enjoy photography!

What a customer experience!

2009-10-01T17:34:00.005+08:00

I posted earlier a situation where a shop assistant recommended a couple to visit another store, assuming that they couldn't afford the men's clothing that the posh store carried. There is no polite way to suggest this, no matter how gentle the tone of voice is. To a customer, the idea of being told that you cannot afford what's in store is insulting enough.

I wonder - is this the experience that this posh boutique wants every visitor to have?

Not only the sales person failed to provide a pleasant experience to the couple, who actually can afford the merchandise, he failed to convert those visitors to customers. Let's not even begin to picture the number of people who will hear about that experience, all right?

A posh boutique may wants to present a picture that it's high-class or the choice of the more discerning ones. The trick is how to build the behavior that is positively regarded by everyone - from the no-limit-credit card-toting folk to the hoi-polloi. Why does creating the right habit matter? It matters because people are at the core of any business. No matter what's the business model or environment, we still need to serve customers who are, mostly (duh!), people.
Too bad that particular posh boutique in one of the tallest building of this part of the world did not grasp the importance of creating a great experience at every customer and potential customer contact.

I'll leave you with this snippet here. I'm not sure how many of you would remember this scene from 1990's Pretty Woman that starred Richard Gere & Julia Roberts -

Shop assistant: Hello, can I help you?
Vivian: I was in here yesterday. You wouldn't wait on me.
Shop assistant: Oh.
Vivian: You people work on commission, right?
Shop assistant: Yeah.
Vivian: (Holding up her shopping bags for the shop assistant to see) Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now.

She turns away and walks out of the shop, leaving shop assistants standing, mouths open.

One of the best scenes ever written, in my opinion.

Is my money not good in your store?

2009-10-01T17:16:00.003+08:00

A couple walks into a posh, high-end boutique in a shopping center in the city, intending to purchase a men’s suit. A floor sales staff member approaches them.

Sales: May I help you?
He: Yes. We’re looking for a suit.
She: We’re fine with off the rack, probably with one or two small altering here and there, maybe you can show us some choices…

Sales staff looks at them from head to toe, noting their VERY casual attire.

Sales: Well- sir, madam, I don’t think we have something in our store here that fits your budget.

Couple looks surprised.

He: Excuse me?
Sales: You see sir, madam, our more modestly priced range start from 10,000 RM per suit. Our luxury range can easily be more than 5 figures, costing in the material and tailoring.

Couple looks at each other, eyes wide, and mouths slightly agape.

She: Are you suggesting we can’t afford your suits?
He: Do you think we would walk into a place looking to buy something we cannot afford?
Sales: I’m suggesting you try out the boutique 2 doors away from here. Their prices would suit your budgets more, I think. They’re much cheaper than ours.
He: Well, I never…I want to speak to your manager.
Sales: I’m sorry sir, he’s not in at the moment.
She: Let’s go, dear. I don’t want to buy from this place anyway. What nerve!

Couple walks out. Salesman turns back from the main entrance and disappears into store.

What would you do if something like this had happened to you?

Image source: allaboutweybridge.co.uk http://twurl.nl/7mepo4

#1 Seeing the picture that I want to see

2009-09-29T23:08:00.010+08:00

Click on the picture for a bigger view.

Sometimes, I want to see more in a black & white image. This photo gave me an opportunity to use Canon Digital Photo Professional (DPP) application to help me see the picture that I want within the photograph that I have.

The journey for this picture was from the top; full colour, uncropped. I wanted to focus on the decaying structure, so I cropped tighter, taking the garbage bag out. I then turned the picture monochrome, pushed up the sliders for sharpness and shadow up to the middle of their respective bars, and arrived at the darker image in the middle. Somehow this doesn't capture fully what I had felt when I saw this house/shed. I had been curious about who had lived in it before, what it was used for. What I had in mind was this thought: everything has its history. Things are not in black and white all the time. That prompted me to move the saturation and sharpness sliders all the way down and up, respectively. Then I tweaked the individual sliders in Red, Green & Blue until I saw a hint of greyish green & red. I wanted to show how the building is pushed way back, as if it has retreated into its fate of decaying quietly, even as the greenery around it continues to live and grow.

Death, is only the beginning, said Imhotep in The Mummy (1999) and I saw those words when I first looked at this structure in Taiping, early this year.

Continue experimenting - you never know what you'll see until you look. The final picture is available here on my flickr stream.

Take care.

Get personal, just don't take it personally.

2009-08-30T20:25:00.005+08:00

IMG_0820, originally uploaded by faz k.

I shot this self-portrait 9 days after I got my EOS 500D, James.

Looking at this photo, I found it funny how the only time I can look directly into the camera lens is when a part of my face is covered. This brings me to an apprehension that impacts my choice of photograpy subjects. I tell myself that I prefer inanimate objects instead of humans. One day, my subconscious mind asked back, "what is it about humans that make you avoid them as subjects?"

I allowed my mind to answer, and the revelation surprised me with its honesty. It was a deep-seated feeling that I never belonged anywhere, with anyone. As a child, I looked different from my cousins, and I believed it when my mother implied that I lack grace; very much like a bull in a china shop. I had been a chit-chatty little girl, until I was admonished with "little childen should be seen & not heard". I hid in closets & cupboards, scribbling in my note book conducting conversations in my head where everyone around me would pay rapt attention to what I said. In my teens, my mother reminded me many times that the appropriate time for me to join a conversation would be when I have my own family.

I realise now how this has impacted me as an adult. I was slow to suggest or give opinions for fear of being rejected, not included, and ridiculed. I agreed with the majority even though personally I know there was a better solution. I also shied away from portraiture photography because I convinced myself that I'd just be intruding the potential subjects. I had masked my fear of connecting with a warped sense of reality that I preffered buildings to people.

I realise that now, and have been moving forward since 2 years ago, post NLP certification, when I achieved breakthrough. And now, I'm ready to be more aware of the beauty of moving forward and explore. More specifically, to explore the interesting world of portraiture photography. My beloved buildings can wait :-)

Picture taken 9 June '09, EOS 500D 18-55mm kit lens, f/5.6, 1/4sec, ISO1600, focal length 49mm.

Trampled, maybe. Hurt, absolutely. Moving on, most definitely.

2009-08-30T20:15:00.006+08:00

fallen hero, originally uploaded by faz k.

I knocked on your heart's door
Asking you to let me in
You opened it only to spit in my face and stick a knife in my chest -
To make sure I never come back.
Later, you look out and see me as I struggle to my feet -
And you call out to me, "How are you?"

Cruelty, thy name is the human male.

Picture details: shot at the National Monument using my point&shoot Canon PowerShot SX100IS. f/4.0, 1/200sec, focal length: 6.7 mm, ISO 100.

Finally the sun sets on the perfect picture

2009-08-24T22:55:00.002+08:00

_MG_3860, originally uploaded by faz k.

From Paulo Coelho's Warrior of Light
******
Things as they are.

Of course things don’t always happen they way we wish they would. There are moments in which we feel we are seeking something that is not meant for us, knocking on doors that don’t open, waiting for miracles that don’t manifest themselves.

Fortunately that is the way things are – if everything went the way we wanted, soon we would no longer have anything to write about, nothing to guide our daily thoughts. This script serves our dreams as nourishment, but to our battles as energy. And as it always happens with the warriors that spend all their energy in the Good Fight, there are moments in which it is best to relax and believe that the Universe is still working for us secretly, even if we cannot comprehend it.

And so, let us allow the Soul of the World to fulfill its mission, and if we can’t help, the best way to collaborate is to pay attention to the simple things in life; the sunset, the people in the street, the reading of a book.

However, in many cases, time continues passing and nothing exceptional happens. But the true warrior of light believes. Just like children believe.

Because they believe in miracles, the miracles begin to happen.

Because they are certain that their thoughts can change their lives, their lives begin to change.

Because they are certain they will find love, this love appears.

Sometimes they are disappointed. Sometimes they feel hurt.

Then they hear the comments, “you are so naïve!”

But the warrior knows it is worth the price. To each defeat, there are two conquests in his favor.

In an interesting and diminutive book called “The Breviary of Medieval Knights,” there are some passages that have to be remembered in these moments of waiting:

“The Path’s spiritual energy uses justice and patience to prepare your spirit.”

“This is the Knight’s Path. An easy and hard path at the same time, as it urges us to let aside useless things and relative friendships. That is why, at the beginning, we hesitate so much to follow it.”

“This is a Knight’s first teaching: you will erase everything you wrote up to now on your life’s notebook: turmoil, insecurities, lies. And in place of all that, you will write the word courage. Beginning the journey with this word and going on with faith in God, you will arrive where you need to arrive.”

Even so, sometimes we keep on waiting – with patience, resignation, courage – and still, things around us don’t move. But since this is the path we chose, it seems impossible that life’s blessings are not working in our favor. It provokes, therefore, a deep reflection about what we call “results:” our destiny is manifesting itself in a way we are not able to fully comprehend . Jorge Luís Borges wrote a masterly short story about this issue.

He describes the birth of a tiger that spends great part of its life in the African wildness but ends up being captured and taken to a zoo in Italy. From then on, the animal thinks his life has lost sense and there is nothing left to do but wait for the day he dies.

One fine day, poet Dante Alighieri passes by this zoo, looks at the tiger, and the animal inspires a verse – in the midst of thousands of verses – of “The Divine Comedy.”

“The entire battle for survival that tiger went through was only so that it could be at the zoo on that morning and inspire an immortal verse,” says Borges.

Just like this tiger, we all have a reason – a very important reason – to be here, at this moment, this morning.

So relax. And pay attention.

Serenity - or holding on to the ledge with one's fingertips as calmly as possible

2009-08-20T20:40:00.003+08:00

Face From Angkor, originally uploaded by vincenzooli.

It's been a tough week, surprisingly.

I had been struggling with a new aspect of my work that involves marketing activities. I thought it would come natural to me, honestly I did. Did I overestimate my own capabilities? I'm not sure. One thing I AM sure is how much I love content design & development. I don't need to struggle to get the big picture before I work on a paragraph. I just know when to skim and where to scan for the right level of insight needed to be spot on. I'd see pictures in my head like multiple pop-up windows. But get me to make a phone call to confirm an appointment, the palms of my hands break into cold sweat. Oh dear.

Am I too complacent and just want to stay in my area of content development - writing articles, designing methodologies & approaches, reviewing processes etc - until I can't see myself doing anything else? I don't think so. I want to stretch myself more in that area. Developing structure and content in other medium, presenting ideas in different ways. Put me in a solitary cubicle with no one around me and I'd be happy. I'd be serene, even.

Then I saw this photo, and vincenzooli kindly gave me his permission to blog it when I wrote to him. I love his travel pictures. This one in particular, helped me to relax.

And today I wrote to my boss. First, an update. Last, a confession that I'm at loss to handle this marketing stuff. Not sure what she'll say to me - she'd probably sit me down & discuss this. She'd probably share with me her point of view. That'd be fine. I've been so comfortably expressing myself in writing the last two weeks I'm not sure if I can think and talk at the same time, though.

Wish me luck. In the meantime, enjoy vincenzooli's Face From Angkor.

When does getting up close become getting too close?

2009-08-18T18:30:00.002+08:00

Do these come from a real peacock?, originally uploaded by faz k.

It took me a while to digest the 'get too close to the trees and you can't see the forest' saying. While acknowledging the idea in that saying, I am aware that I do need to get close to something to see it clearer. Like in photography, for instance - Robert Capa said, 'if your photos are not good enough, you're not close enough' - or something close to that.

I think we just need to recognize the point where getting up close equals getting too close. Because, even in making pictures, we need to fill the frame. However, if we keep on zooming in, there's a point where we can't see anything but a blur. That's when we zoom out a little, and then we'd see the picture that we need to make. Or the action we need to take in order to get the best result.

Photography. Very much like creating solutions for issues in other aspects of life too, no?

Picture taken with my Canon PowerShot SX100 IS, 1/8 sec, f/3.5, focal length 14.4mm, ISO 80.

Sweet dreams are made of these

2009-08-17T10:57:00.002+08:00

_MG_3779, originally uploaded by Faz K PSPJ.

The sampan was made by hand and transported from Pulau Duyung, Terengganu, the announcer said.

Putrajaya was bursting with colors during Floria 2009. I took this shot on late Saturday afternoon. It was still very hot and bright, even though the long shadows showed me that it was close to sunset. I was at the foot of the Millenium Monument and turned around towards the lake. The whispering leaves of the trees welcomed me. I immediately sat down on the lush green grass and felt calmer, cooler. I wanted to capture the dreamy feeling I had, so I decided to use the tree branches to frame the small boat. It took me 12-13 frames to make sure that I got the boat where I wanted it to be. And now, I can look at this photo and transport myself back to that moment on a late Saturday afternoon where I was in my own little world, right there in the shade of the trees by the Putrajaya lake.

Photo details: taken with the EOS 500D on AV mode, 1/500sec, f/4.5, 25mm focal length, ISO 100, +2 EV

Even I think things have gone too far, Pt 1

2009-08-14T16:00:00.002+08:00

IMG_3745, originally uploaded by Faz K projects.

Dalam satu video baru-baru ini, seorang menteri:
- mempertahankan kemungkinan ada ikhtiar penapisan internet
- memaklumkan beliau hanya akan menjawab soalan tentang Merdeka 52 tahun sahaja
- menegaskan tidak akan ada tolak-ansur dalam memastikan pornografi kanak-kanak sifar

Dalam video ini, seorang menteri menjegilkan matanya sambil menggunakan nada suara yang sinis, menegur seorang wartawan yang menggunakan bahasa Inggeris dalam soalannya. Kesima aku. Sungguh tak sangka seorang menteri yang aku pernah hormati waktu kanak-kanak mengendalikan sidang akhbarnya sebegitu rupa. Sombongnya dia. "where were you educated? can't speak bahasa at all", "chakap oreang putey"... berjayakah pendekatan begini menimbulkan rasa hormat terhadapnya dan maklumat yang disampaikan? Hampas yang amat menghampakan. Kalau dia nak wartawan tu rasa segan, mungkin teguran secara lembut dapat menyampaikan maksud yang tersirat dengan lebih baik, kesan yang lebih mendalam. Contohnya: "Bukankah kita dalam sidang akhbar promosi Merdeka 52? Marilah kita gunakan bahasa kebangsaan hari ini.." Tak payah jegil-jegil mata, ya tidak?

Aku belajar dalam negeri. Dari St Teresa's Kindergarten Kuala Terengganu sampailah ke Universiti Utara Malaysia Sintok. Aku selesa berbahasa Inggeris - mak ayah aku dah biasa berbahasa Inggeris, Kebangsaan, loghat Kelantan, Terengganu, Pahang, Batak (bapak aku lah) dan semua itu dengan harapan anak-anak mereka mampu bercakap untuk minta tolong kalau sesat di tempat orang - tak semua orang tahu loghat Terengganu, mak aku ajar masa aku belum akil baligh dulu.

Mujur mak ayah aku ajar kami sebaik mungkin. Kalau tak, aku mungkin jadi macam beberapa lepasan Universiti tempatan di lokasi sedikit luar Lembah Kelang yang bukan berasaskan pertanian yang duduk letaknya dekat-dekat rumah bapak saudara aku tak jauh dari hutan simpan Bangi. Aku pernah temuduga budak-budak lepasan U ini masa aku 'berkecimpung' (bergelumang sebenarnya) dalam dunia HR beberapa tahun lepas. Aku semak semua jawapan. Secara bertulis dalam borang yang bukan dalam bahasa kebangsaan tu - tak menjawab soalan. Secara lisan? Malang. Koyak rabak ayat dan perenggan masing-masing. Daripada geram aku rasa macam nak tempeleng depa, aku terus jadi tak sampai hati. Waktu aku tengok muka graduan-graduan tu, aku seakan boleh dengar dalam batu jemala tu bunyi enjin - dengar bahasa inggeris perempuan ni cakap-terjemah dalam bahasa kebangsaan-terjemah balik dalam bahasa inggeris-buka mulut-jawab. Sakit, aku rasa, duduk dalam bilik temuduga dengan aku. Aku tengok muka depa berkerut-kerut pun aku rasa sakit.

Mungkin aku ni emosi sangat. Mungkin aku patut ucap tahniah kepada menteri ni. Nak sangat semua orang fasih berbahasa kebangsaan. Nah, ambik. Berkoyan-koyan lepasan universiti tempatan sekarang tidak berbahasa Inggeris. Tidak mampu? Tidak diajar? Tidak pandai? Lebih mendaulatkan bahasa kebangsaan? Tepuk dada tanya selera.

Mendidih jugak darah aku, membuak-buak, waktu tengok video ini. Kemudian aku terkenang cikgu-cikgi yang berhempas-pulas ajar aku dari masa aku 4 tahun ikat rambut tocang dua sampai lah dewasa andartu sekarang ni. Kalau tak sebab depa bertungkus lumus pastikan aku faham semua bahasa yang depa ajar aku, tak boleh lah aku 'menjawab' masa konsultan mat saleh perli sahabat sekerja aku yang sama-sama baru macam aku masa aku mula-mula kerja dulu sambil sahabat aku tu terkebil-kebil macam ayam berak kapur. Tak bolehlah aku jawab balik mangkuk yang kutuk aku dalam bahasa jerman dalam keretapi masa aku assignment kat Munich dulu. Tak bolehlah aku tangkis ejekan staf hotel masa aku kerja kat Beijing beberapa tahun dulu.

Memang bahasa kebangsaan sangat penting. Sebahagian dari jiwa kita. Kita rakyat Malaysia; aku pun meluat beruk kalau ada cerita orang-orang yang tak pandai berbahasa kebangsaan tambah lagi kalau orang tu macam aku, ada cop 'rubber stamp' dalam paspot antarabangsa sejak kerja saja, bukan sejak masa belajar. Pokoknya, SEMUA BAHASA penting. Sudah tentu termasuk bahasa isyarat dan Braille, terutama kepada pihak yang memerlukannya.

Pada aku, keupayaan untuk berkomunikasi dengan lancar lebih penting. Dalam apa bahasa yang perlu sekalipun. Mendaulatkan bahasa kebangsaan tidak sepatutnya bermakna bahasa lain diperkecilkan. Tidak sama sekali. Itu bodoh sombong namanya.

Mungkin kita semua perlu jadi bodoh sombong. Eh tak, aku rasa tak. Aku tak mau. Mak ayah dan cikgu-cikgi aku tak ajar aku macam tu.

p.s.

BTW - aku tengok dalam kamus kesima = dumbfounded. Aku kira lebih kurang macam 'gobsmacked' lah tu. OK lah ya?

Even I think things have gone too far, Pt 2

2009-08-14T15:52:00.002+08:00

_MG_3803, originally uploaded by faz k.

The question behind the question is, what am I going to do about it?

Vijay wrote on Eddie's wall that ultimately, what's sad is that we can go on ranting & nothing may change. I can't quite argue with that statement, because I feel the rakyat have been hurt & disappointed and I'm not sure if they can handle the frustration much longer without resorting to some sort of emotional detachment or even worse, apathy. What's the impact of that then? We'd all probably stop trying our hardest and best, and just walk around, existing rather than living, waiting for the next thoughtless decrees that are outcomes of improper planning; to be retracted later by someone of the higher power. The good cop bad cop ploy and the tail wagging the dog do come to mind.

On Saturday, I joined a reccy trip to Putrajaya to prepare for our PSPJ outing the next day. It was late afternoon when I snapped this photo.

First, I felt sheer delight in hearing the children's joyful laugh and seeing the colors around me. Suddenly, I was gripped by fear. Fear of being mediocre, unconsciously teaching the children around me that it's ok to just follow directions without knowledge of the destination and of the purpose being served. That the best thing to do is to never ask questions, never discuss things that could be considered as taboo. They might as well get lobotomized immediately after their birth - special package price, 2-in-1 circumcision AND lobotomy, no?

NO. NO WAY.

If things move this way our children will inherit a world full of mediocrity. And we'd be guilty of that because we allowed fools with consistent verbal diarrhea to invade our thoughts with senseless statements and directives.

That's when Vijay's comment re-surfaced. And I realised that nothing can change if I don't be the change that I want to see. I looked at this photo again and then I heard it - my wake-up call from indifference and hopelessness. I will strive to be good and do right. To add meaning to my life and the people that I impact. To have faith in my own abilities and continue learning to improve my strengths. So what if there are people in powerful positions, even ministers, who continue to blunder their way around. They can make all the stupid remarks they want. I have faith that at some point, way back perhaps, their intentions were good. I have faith that my friends and loved ones are smart people who will not follow blindly. So those people can carry on. So si Luncai terjun dengan labu-labunya. Biarkan, biarkan, bloody biarkan.

Maybe I will still rant once in a while, but I will definitely continue to fight the good fight.

Because change begins with me.

Kepercayaan. Faith.

2009-08-14T14:13:00.002+08:00

_MG_3829, originally uploaded by faz k.

Millenium monument, during Floria 2009, August.

The obelisk-like monument has carvings on its body to depict the Rukunegara, or National Principles, which is based on 5 guiding principles.

In full, it's read:
MAKA KAMI, rakyat Malaysia, berikrar akan menumpukan seluruh tenaga dan usaha kami untuk mencapai cita-cita tersebut berdasarkan atas prinsip-prinsip yang berikut :

KEPERCAYAAN KEPADA TUHAN
KESETIAAN KEPADA RAJA DAN NEGARA
KELUHURAN PERLEMBAGAAN
KEDAULATAN UNDANG-UNDANG
KESOPANAN DAN KESUSILAAN

The literal translation from Wikipedia follows:

NOW THEREFORE WE, the people of Malaysia, pledge to concentrate the whole of our energy and efforts to achieve these ambitions based on the following principles:

BELIEF IN GOD
LOYALTY TO KING AND COUNTRY
THE SUPREMACY OF THE CONSTITUTION
THE RULE OF LAW
COURTESY AND MORALITY

I think the main key here is KEPERCAYAN. Faith. People of power can say whatever they want, sometimes they don't make sense to me. But they will never take away my faith in God and my faith in me.

A design thinker's personality profile. Do you have one?

2009-06-22T06:08:00.005+08:00

I was reading Tim Brown's Blog when I came across the article he had written for HBR. In the article, titled 'Design Thinking', are his views on what constitute design thinking. In it, he wrote that many outside professional design have the natural aptitude for design thinking - black turtlenecks not being a requirement.

What caught my interest as I skimmed through the article was Brown's idea of the design thinker's personality profile. He lists down empathy, integrative thinking, optimism, experimentalism and collaboration as characteristics to look for in design thinkers. Design thinkers, based on this list, are people who can see the situation from multiple points of stakeholder views: from the client's, the developer's, the end users', the supplier's - and this helps to design a solution that is more desirable and relevant. Design thinkers also believe that no matter how challenging the situation is, there is a set of solutions that is better than the current alternatives. They also keep on experimenting, in order to continuously improve the proposed solutions. Finally, they go beyond working alongside multiple disciplines; they themselves have experience in more than one.

You can read the article here.

Ya, sure he's describing the IDEO designers, who come from all walks of life and represents the perspectives of sociology, psychology, physics, and more. What I like about this list is that it's true - one does not need to be formally-trained in design school to have a design approach in one's thinking. The design approach helps in many aspects of getting work done.

I'm beginning to feel weary, though. I feel that I am one of the few ones that keep on asking questions, experimenting, pushing for awareness of multiple perspectives, exploring possibilities and eliminating unusable options, that I'm just tired. I'm not saying I'm so bloody great at it. What I'm saying is that if more of us learn to think this way, collaboration would be fun and brainstorming would actually yield cool ideas. I think my unconscious mind is listening to my words and is programming my body to react thus. I've been fighting a severe ear infection and horrendous headaches for 3 weeks now - a possibility that my body is experiencing some sort of dis-ease. I'm frustrated and angry and I need to suppress those feelings because it doesn't do anyone any good if I lose it and just shout "just think, people - think!" and bring the team's morale up. I don't care anymore. I don't even care if the work gets done or not. I just don't care.

There. Finally I've admitted that to myself. What do I do next?

Been busy, yes. Been a little bit ill too.

2009-06-16T16:38:00.005+08:00

But most importantly, have been working on my stuff for the KLue Urbanscapes 2009 @ KLPAC, under the KLickr group. Didn't go to the one last year, and this year's program looks smashing.

More updates coming up when I have them. In the meantime, check out the urbanscapes page at http://www.urbanscapes.com.my

See you there.

How to successfully organize a social networking event for ’single, busy professionals’

2009-05-21T17:04:00.002+08:00

um…er…how to (un)successfully organize the above, rather. Here are 5 ways.

ONE

Announce and market the event to the correct target group i.e. single, busy, professionals, get their payment, and then do nothing to whet their interest after they pay. Don’t find out what they’d like to see in a social networking get-together. Don’t even think of calling them for a nice chat to find out if they’d be shy or hesitant to join any particular activity or ‘party games’ and get their ideas on what kind of fun activities they’d feel happy about. God forbid if you’re thinking of asking them about their experience with similar socials, especially if it’s getting them to tell you about their experience in one or two that they may have thought of as lovely, or executed nicely. What do these people know about social networking anyway? You’re the experts, aren’t you?

TWO

Once the people arrive at the event you organize, make sure you get their business cards and other contact information, point them to the bar to get their complimentary watered-down beer, and then LEAVE THEM TO MINGLE ABOUT BY THEMSELVES. Don’t introduce people to each other, don’t offer small facts that may be interesting e.g. “I’d like to introduce you to so-and-so, who’s also in the sports apparel industry,”. Don’t walk around among those sorry lot for ‘how-do-you-dos’; other people might think you’re one of them. Oh and for goodness’ sake don’t help them – especially the ones who really look like they’re painfully shy and just stands there by the corner, by himself or herself. Focus instead on sitting together with your fellow organizers, continue looking great and MAKE SURE you introduce your team as experts in organizing social networking events for single, busy professionals. They all know that they are losers anyway, these poor sods, that they’d even pay you GOOD money to meet other single, busy, professionals in a social setting.

THREE

If you have latecomers, especially people who arrive about one hour late than the planned time, because they were too busy to plan their work properly and leave the office earlier in order to meet your stipulated time, implement step TWO and be very pointed about them being late to YOUR event. MAKE SURE that you don’t have anyone on stand by at the front door or the restaurant entrance so that when these sorry sods arrive, they’d feel so embarrassed standing alone at the door, not sure where to go, that they’d learn their lesson and never be late again for YOUR SOCIAL NETWORKING event THAT THEY HAD PAID FOR EARLIER. The key here is to make them feel so unwelcome so that they’d remember to be on time next time.

FOUR

Halfway into the event, just as they begin to look rather comfortable (or less shy) with each other, intrrupt them to officially introduce yourself and your team, emphasizing again on your collective experience of running these shindigs. Then you hand out pencils and pieces of paper containing some senseless questions, incomplete sentences or empty boxes. Tell those sods that they need to go on a manic rush to get all answers or matches within a stipulated time (the shorter, the better. Try 45 seconds and cut it from there). Once this mad frenzy is finished, announce the ‘fastest’ and ’slowest’ networkers, applaud the one with the most completed answers and punish the slowest sod with some humilitating command. Get them to sing, say out a poem, gyrate their hips or something like that. The more embarrassing the task is, the better. It shows how much of an expert you are, because single, busy professionals are always the best group to embarrass, because they don’t have partners like the rest of us NORMAL people.

FIVE

Never ever ask for feedback. You never need to improve on perfection, do you? Besides, what would those busy, single, busy professionals know about meeting other people in a social setting anyway? YOU are the experts in this area, aren’t you?

Yeah. What Randy said.

2009-01-17T19:29:00.006+08:00

Sometimes, borrowing other people's words help to explain more clearly what I mean. Today, I will borrow Dr Randy Pausch's words, from his book, The Last Lecture.

"The questions are always more important than the answers."

That's so true - because I believe the best answers are the ones that hits you between the eyes like a hockey puck although not as hazardous; stuff that you realise yourself. I tend to answer questions by asking questions, especially at work. I love to see the A-HA! moment when the realisation dawns on people's faces that they have found a great potential solution to their issue. The ownership is there, and after the eureka moment, there's a spring to their step as they go off to tackle their to-do-list monster.

There are also the people I work with who do not respond well to this approach. Then I will see their face redden a little while they furrow their eyebrows and roll their eyes. Stop being too pedantic, they tell me. Just give a straight answer, they say. When I can, I do. When I see a good opportunity to learn by teaching and exploring together, I'll go it my way.

"Fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals. You’ve got to get the fundamentals down because otherwise the fancy stuff isn’t going to work."

Many times I struggled with things because I didn't see the big picture. Didn't ask the question behind the question. Didn't have my own EUREKA! moment of the general idea before rushing off to plan activities and take actions. Remembering Randy's statement here calms me. I have renewed strength in my decisions that relate to this statement. Like not buying a DSLR within the next 60 days because I'm just having too much time learning the fundamentals on my Powershot SX100 point-and-shooter.

However, there are times when I confess I may have deliberated too much because of a skewed perception of what forms fundamentals. Sometimes I don't see the line between analysis paralysis and I then end up not doing the nike (read: just do it). I don't have many regrets, but there are at least 2 actions that I should have taken within the last 24 hours that would have put me on a different path than where I am right at this moment. But no. I mistakenly thought I was still in data-gathering mode that will end once I feel I have enough to grasp the fundamentals. I forgot that data-gathering mode is a continuous process in most cases. And now, I'll never know what could have been, and perhaps I never will.

"My colleague told me: "It took a long time, but I finally figured it out. When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it's really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do."

This one's funny. Funny weird and funny ha-ha. I just have one important thing to mention here. Based on what I've experienced, no matter how much their words appear to contradict their actions, they'll still find a way to tell you that they don't really mean what they did, it's what they say that matters. And no amount of crying will change that.

"When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you."

Can you give up on someone permanently, though?

"Find the best in everybody. Wait long enough, and people will surprise and impress you. It might even take years, but people will show you their good side. Just keep waiting."

I thought I could do that. I didn't realise the cost of waiting. Maybe someone should write about that.

"The key question to keep asking is, Are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think."

I know I said I'd wait. I didn't know that it's so easy to get comfortable with the routine and some would never come round to realising that what they're looking for is right there, in front of them. My bags are packed and I am ready to take off on the next part of the journey. If you don't feel that it's worth your time to take the initiative and just touch the sky with me, then so be it.

So be it.

Saudade, Vol 2

2008-12-25T11:27:00.009+08:00

Based on A. F. G. Bell's book 'In Portugal', 1912 , one might make a strong analogy with nostalgia as a feeling one has for a loved one who has died and saudade as a feeling one has for a loved one who has disappeared or is simply currently absent. Like someone you love who went out for a walk along the beach and never came back; you long for every approaching shadow to prelude his or her return, I suppose.

Here's the idea that sparked my exploration into the difference and/or integration of nostalgia and saudade:

"From the beginning he'd consumed liquor only to get drunk. That was half of the equation. The other was the haunting sense that something fundamental to his happiness, his wholeness, been taken from him. When sober, he couldn't name it." [He remembers a trip to Lisbon with his first wife who is a fashion designer.] "...her buyer there...had taken the Parkers out for a night of fados. Fate songs. ... He asked the buyer what the lyrics meant, and the man explained , 'Saudade, my friend...the presence of absence.' "

SOURCE: "Cry Dance" (Kirk Mitchell)

Several days ago, a friend left a comment on this image on my flickr stream that said 'this is a powerful image'. I was curious to what that means - powerful in what way? To me, this image strikes at my core. I still feel like I'm been punched in the center of my chest whenever I look at this photo. But, almost like a glutton for punishment, I return to it repeatedly. Rather like getting injured in kickboxing practice to feel the external aches that match the agony of the internal lacerations.

This image describes the presence of absence that is inside my heart; the moment just before a tear breaks away from my eyelashes and drops onto my cheek; my memories of conflicts caused by past decisions that were taken purely out of urgent necessity.

I'm beginning to realize that this image does not only represents anguish, it also represents hope and growth.

Growth? Like roots to the trees, providing a base and nourishing nutrients: I'm reminded that I am responsible to continue living and learning. My own snapshot of the priceless value of BEING the change that I want to see in the world.

Hope? Like looking forward to the brilliant blue sky that will take over once the rain clouds are gone: perhaps the same being that feels and even inflicts pain (no matter how unintentional) can also brighten up and create joy in their own little corner of the world.

It's about how much we all need to continue fighting the good fight. We all need to be who we are (even if we're described as not soft-spoken and demure), be aware of who we want to be (maybe NOT demure *LOL*) and balance the exploration of these two paths in order to get the best combination of traits that'll help us on the journey to be a good human being.

It's about soldiering on, no matter how tough things may seem, and how bleak the situation looks. It's a reminder to me, first and foremost. It's about aiming for something and going for it, while at the same time accepting the idea that if it's not yours, it could be because someone else needs it more, or you're destined for something else; having faith that every step takes you closer to where you want to (and need to) go.

To me, that's what this image is all about. What does it mean to you?

*the photo's on my flickr stream, http://flickr.com/photos/fazk

Mixed feelings about yoga? WHAT mixed feelings?

2008-10-31T12:18:00.005+08:00

Mixed feelings on yoga

- by Lester Kong

PETALING JAYA: Not only Muslims have reservations on practising yoga, some Christian groups also have mixed feelings about it due to its ties to Hinduism. While some Christian groups say it was wrong to practise yoga as it belonged to a different religion, others say they saw nothing wrong as long as the participants do not deviate from their beliefs.The Malaysian Council of Churches general secretary, Rev Dr Herman Shastri, said different churches hold different opinions on the practice of yoga.

“In modern society, many young people are interested in health and well-being of mind and body.“Some churches said it belonged to a different religion so Christians should not do it,” he said, adding that many churches held spiritual retreats that were opened to non-believers, featuring meditation to alleviate stress and help people seek spiritual comfort.Another source said the issue was problematic as the council did not have a uniform stance on it.He said other church groups consider yoga to be a healthy exercise if done only for physical reasons.“But generally, for Christians, if they do not offer prayers to other Gods while practising yoga, I think it should be fine,” he said.

Malaysia Hindu Sangam president Datuk A. Vaithilingam said yoga had long been an accepted form of exercise in many countries regardless of religion and culture.“Yoga practitioners can just leave out the religion and do the exercise. It‘s entirely up to the individual,” he said, adding that there were no restrictions that yoga practitioners had to be Hindus.

The Malaysian Muslim Solidarity Movement also said there was nothing wrong with Muslims practising yoga as an exercise.“It is just an exercise for health and brings peace of mind. Nothing more than that. It has never been averse to the Islamic faith,” said its president Datuk Zulkifli Mohamad, adding that there were no objections on yoga by ulamas around the world.“This new fatwa is not healthy and yoga is a very subjective and debatable issue,” Zulkifli added.

Yoga is a form of exercise called Asana and was one of the most ancient physical and mental disciplines originating from India some 5,000 years ago. The Islamic Development Department had said on Wednesday that the National Fatwa Council is expected to make a ruling to ban Muslims from practising yoga.

Read the article from The Star Online http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/10/31/nation/2418579&sec=nation

***********

Well, I never.

The benefits of yoga and pilates are many. Just check out abc-of-yoga article here for a simple list. Physiological benefits include improvements in dexterity skills, sleep, muscle tone, balance and posture. I also feel good after a good yoga class. It can help to imrove one's mood, increase one's awareness of self and surroundings. When you're feeling at peace with yourself and the world, it's a bit tough to walk around with a scowl on your face and anger in your belly. Trust me.

So what do we have now? A potential ban for muslims to practice yoga? WTF. Are our guideline committees so free and have nothing major or more impactful to look into that they're resorting to touching everything?

I'm feeling rather rattled by this news, not so much of the announcement per se, but by the potential direction this vehicle is going. Am I looking at a picture of the tail wagging the dog here? What are they trying to distract us from?

In the meantime, it's still a free country, and I will still go to my yoga class. Maybe the council members should look into their own faith in the holistic view of THEIR own organized religion first instead of going around like headless turkeys, gobbling away. Is their own faith so flimsy that a simple yoga class will make them 'walk to the dark side'?

Hm.

How to go beyond 'Customer is always right'?

2008-10-28T16:52:00.001+08:00

A friend of mine just quit her job. She was working in the consulting field like me also, and I know from mutual friends that she has been doing a good job at making her clients happy with all the deliverables she was responsible for. What I remember most from the last time we met were two things: one, the deepening furrow in the middle of her forehead that had not been there before. Two, her frustration with her clients’ demands. The poor thing would go on and on, ending every vignette with a resigned sigh, “what to do, the customer is always right,” in her soft, sing-song voice.

Naomi Karten, author of books on managing SLAs (service level agreements), managing expectations and closing communication gaps, mentioned a list that made sense to me in her article, What do Customers Want Anyway? on her website. When she asked participants to her seminars, they told her that when they are customers, they want:

1 to be taken seriously
2 competent, efficient service
3 anticipation of their needs
4 to be kept informed
5 explanations on their terms
6 follow-through
7 basic courtesies
8 honesty
9 to be informed of the options
10 feedback
11 not to be passed around
12 professional services
13 to be listened to (and heard)
14 empathy
15 dedicated attention
16 respect
17 knowledgeable help
18 friendliness

Read the full article at http://www.nkarten.com/mce.html#WHAT to find out more. I visit her website because after so many hours of Newsweek-, John Naisbitt-, Fortune-style of reporting, it’s a relief for me to read things in simple terms (remember list item #5?).

For many of us, we put on our own ‘I’m a customer now’ hat in order to feel for our customers and get in their shoes. My friend took it to the extreme! Wearing her ‘customer is always right’ cape, she let her clients’ issues and constraints limit her own thoughts and ideas. She contradicted herself; went against her own values. In the end, she got too overwhelmed and frustrated when things never moved the way they should have.

She asked me how I got through MY days. I told her that I quit the ‘customer is always right’ maxim a couple of years back. There are just times when all the thinking and feeling hats in the world will not help me get into the shoes of come of the characters I talk to. Honestly. No friggin’ way. When wearing that blasted hat didn’t work for me anymore, I decided to kill the frustration by looking at the situation from new eyes. I realised that whenever I decided to do the best I could with what I had, and do my best to go the extra mile when I could, a heavy load rolled off my shoulders. So I started going with that outlook more consciously. Things started to change. We started to understand each other better. I see my customers as more collaborative; they see ME as more collaborative. This view also influenced how I treat my colleagues and bosses, because they are all part of my work. The most important thing for me is, this point of view influences my behaviour in the way that I don’t have to tell my clients or my bosses that I have their best interests at heart. I don’t need to say it when I already behave it.

It worked for me – maybe it can work for some other people too. Try it – replace ‘the customer is always right’ with ‘I’ll do the best I can with what I have, and I’ll do my best to go the extra mile’. Think it now. Picture that in your mind now take note if your body feels any different. You’ve got to mean it though. Really mean it. And then, go back to the list of the 18 things customers say they want. If you’re more open and relaxed about those items, you’re off to a good start.

Good luck!

Clamping Queen (Kasi clamp sama dia)

2008-10-20T09:09:00.000+08:00

You can park, you can try, having the steal of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the clamping queen

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for a bay to poach
When the guards are not looking, got your drive-thru card
You'd think you've got a great start

Any bay could contain your car
Night is young, looks all right so far
With a bit of stupidity, everything looks fine -
"Maybe the owner's out for the night,"
You think you've got a chance!

But she is the clamping queen, young and strict, only thirty-six
Clamping queen, hear the beat from the clamp machine, oh yeah...
You can park, you can try, having the steal of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the clamping queen

You'd think that you've got it made
Park your car and go on your date
Not leaving your number on your windowscreen
You've got to be insane
And when she's home you'll see...

That she is the clamping queen, young and sweet, only thirty-six
Clamping queen, see her chums, the security - oh yeah -
You can park, you can try, having the steal of your life
Ooh - pay that fee, watch that grin, dig in the clamping queen...

OK, ok - I surrender :-)

2008-08-29T10:56:00.005+08:00

Last year, I wrote a post on how I thought TV advertisements were overloading on the 'tug-the-heartstrings' elements. I truly felt disenchanted and too cynical about it all. Sentimentality overload, surely. This year, the clip on how Aiman Gyver grew up into a respectful young man who brought back a power bike for his dad made me feel differently about Merdeka adverts.

I am reminded of these lessons from watching the video: innovation rules, for sure. At the same time, a culture of hard work and gentle reminders in bringing up children keeps our feet on the ground while we're reaching for the stars (didn't Casey Kasem end every American Top 40 weekly episode with that phrase?). This culture helps to nurture brilliant youngsters who'll grow up to be creative inventors and successful professionals who are still humble and practice good manners.

So, I now surrender myself to the heartwarming effects of the campaign video :-)

Oh Charlie!

2008-08-19T15:57:00.002+08:00

I was feeling dreary. It's so sunny outside I had to bite my own fist to stop myself from getting into the car and running AWOL to enjoy a bit of lie-down by the condo pool. Then a good friend, Johnny, suggested I go read some Charlie Brooker.

"Thank God for dishonesty. I can't have been the only Briton to shift awkwardly in their seat throughout the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympic games the other week. The Chinese mounted an unprecedented spectacle. Thousands of synchronised drummers, acrobats, fireworks, impossible floating rings made of electric dust (surely alien technology, that), dancers, prancers, singers and flingers. Maybe not flingers. I just threw that in to complete the rhyme. But you get the picture. It was amazing. It cost around £50m and was probably rehearsed at the shooty end of a machine gun. Dance, beloved populace! Miss three steps and we take out your kneecaps. Miss five and we go for the head. Dance till your homeland is the envy of the world! Stop weeping and dance!"

Read the full article here: Thanks to China, we have a blueprint for 2012 - virtual athletes and exciting made-up CGI sports.

I am now both enlightened AND entertained. Thanks Jay!

Do judge a bookstore by its services

2008-08-17T11:55:00.009+08:00

Today marks the 3rd month anniversary of the special order that I made for Coelho's Eleven Minutes, from a certain bookstore that boasts its extensive collection, store size and its quality, with plans 'to take the book industry to greater heights.'

Hmph. Greater heights, konon.

Funny there is no mention about any commitment to offering help to customers. The only time the word 'service' appeared was in the franchiser company name.

That probably should have been my warning flag. A bookseller who appears to pay no attention to customer service sounds like an owner of an orchard who boasts about how large the land is and how the fertilizers he uses will take fruit orchards to the next level and fails to mention that he has no fruit trees planted there.

OK maybe I exaggerate. And digress.

Living next to the said bookstore provided me with the ample opportunity to make frequent visits there. In one of my visits 2 weeks ago I found out that my book has left the ship and arrived at the warehouse (somewhere is Port Klang I reckon, and not in Poughkeepsie, NY). Last week I asked the people in charge of special orders about the status of my book. Here's the reply:

"I don't know, miss. I have to check with the Ingram (as I heard it, and I found out later this entity is their warehouse) on the status of your book. I don't know about this because this was from the person before me" (who has quit already, apparently - maybe went to join the ingram)

I received a call from this person a day later. Here's what she told me:

"I checked with the Ingram, and they don't know what happened to your book. They lost it. All the other orders on the same day also gone."

Now that's interesting. It sounds to me like someone carried a bunch of books tied up in string from a ship down into the warehouse and told someone in the building, "hey, dude - I'm just gonna put this bunch of stuff here on the floor OK?" and left, walked off into the smoggy afternoon. The blinking 'Ingram' didn't know what happened to my book and the other books from the May 16 order batch.

I asked: "Did the book arrive or not?"
Answer: "I don't know Miss"
I asked: "What happened to the manifest? Someone signed for the cargo when it arrived, right?"
Answer: "I don't know, Miss. That's not our responsibility"

MISTAKE NUMBER ONE. IT IS YOUR BLEEDIN' RESPONSIBILITY. LIVE WITH IT.

I asked: "What do I do now? I want my book. What options do you have for me?"
Answer: "Do you want your money back, Miss?"

MISTAKE NUMBER TWO. This may seem like a logical answer to give; however, take note that this particular customer kept on dropping by regularly at the Information counter to ask for the status of her special order since the 5th week of placing it. Would that be the act of a customer who doesn't care whether her order arrives? I reckon not, Bubba. IDEAL ANSWER: I'm sorry to see you upset, Miss. I understand how sad it is when something you're waiting for doesn't arrive on time. I can place a re-order right now, and I'm sure my supervisor will be able to help out with something to compensate you with.

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED -
I asked: Can you put in a re-order?
Answer: Yes.
I asked. Can you re-order right away?
Answer: I have to check with my supervisor first, Miss, cos right now he's busy with the sale at the concourse.
I asked: So you can't help me with this right away.
Answer: I can record if you want your money back.

I can't help it. I exploded.

"Do I look like someone who wants her money back or do I look like someone who wants her book and wants it NOW???"

Grrr grrr.

It's not about the bad news, Bubba. It's about HOW it was delivered. Let's go back to shooting the messenger. Maybe then we'll all care about how we deliver the news we need to deliver.

-Maybe King Leonidas had the right idea there, Bubba.

Image courtesy of '300' promotional photos

Raising the bar; an experience

2008-08-16T11:57:00.007+08:00

Once upon a time, there was an all girls boarding school. Almost every girl (and their mothers) dreamed about completing their secondary school education there. It was the school for the creme-de-la-creme, they were told, and it would be such an honor to be an alum of that great institution.

It was 1988 when it happened. The announcement came as a shock to all the fair students there. A batch of girls would join the fourth formers. They were the best students from selected schools. Those 'form four barus' will make up 2 new classes. The 'form four lamas' were incensed. How could this be happening? What will happen to tradition? We waited 3 years, slogged through forms 1, 2 and 3 to become seniors in college and enjoy the privileges of being seniors, to be greeted with this abomination? What will happen to the quality of the thoroughbreds? When we design our sweaters to mark our arrival at the landmark year of Form 5, are we going to have 2 different designs to accommodate the form four barus? What's the purpose of bringing them in? Tradition will be ruined!

When the girls came in, the school organized a camping weekend on the college field (where else could we go anyway) to INTEGRATE the form four lamas and the form four barus. The form four lamas were more incensed! As the term went into full swing, the form four lamas were forced to eat humble pie. The form four barus gave a new definition to the word 'excellence' and 'all-rounder'. They easily made up the top 10% in all tests & term exams. Teachers loved them. Coaches wanted them in all the sports teams. Positions that many form four lamas thought they would inherit (club presidency, team captaincy) went to some of the form four barus. The juniors held many of them in high regard. They were considered role models.

It took a while, then the form four lamas realized that the situation was not going to change. They had better buck up or else they would forever stay at the level of mediocrity that they had mistakenly thought were their 'level best'. They made friends with the form four barus. They saw that the entry of their new friends helped to raise the bar. Standards got higher. As the weeks turned into months, the distinction of old and new was gone. The fourth formers worked together in inter-form drama competitions, inter-house dancing competitions, inter-school debates, sports and games, marching band practices and PPM debates. As the fourth formers became fifth formers, they integrated. They even bonded, somewhat. As they bid farewell to the college on their last days of the fifth form, they all felt sentimental and sad to to leave the venerable institution. They have learned to see the bigger picture; it was not about THEM - it was about THE COLLEGE.

Having learned what I had in those valuable 2 years of 1988-1989, I am sad to read of students protesting and handing over memorandums to force apologies out of the Selangor MB for announcing the possibility of opening up 10% of UiTM to non-Bumiputeras. Their bone of contention? Among others, it would deprive 10% of Bumiputera students of the opportunity to pursue higher education in UiTM. My goodness. Such flimsy arguments! Move on or stay mediocre.

Please.

My Nipah Bay alternative

2008-08-16T10:56:00.006+08:00

It was Sunday afternoon. I was recovering from a flu bug. I was not cheered up at the prospect of a 2-hour LDF class in FF Menara Axis. I felt restless and rather oddly depressed, which was pretty rare for me. I had planned to be in Pangkor that weekend, but I canceled the plan due to the bug. After a quick consultation with Chris, we got in the car and started driving. We ended up in PD, and I had a lovely afternoon there.

Sometimes, all you need to do is just get in the car and drive.

Nipah Bay, my new hometown

2008-08-04T17:51:00.006+08:00

Provided by Pulau Pangkor.com 2004-2008

When one needs to recuperate, it's always best to do so in a relaxing place. For me, it's Pangkor Island. Not only I love the island, the journey itself is something to look forward to. Whether on the highway or the upgraded trunk road where we pass by Sekinchan, the rice bowl of Selangor, there's always something for us to see and enjoy. This time, I'll make sure to have my Telfast tablets on the ready, just in case my histamine levels decide to play 'polis sentry' and run out of whack. Chris & I will also grab our motorbike (AND helmets - yes, mum) at the jetty as soon as we arrive to eliminate the need for taxis. Since we've toured Lumut on our last Pangkor trip, we'll give Lumut a miss.

I'd like to visit the Dutch Fort this round. I'm not sure if I'm up to hike through the forest to get to the white sands of Segadas Bay. I'll keep quiet about it for the time being, lest Chris gets one of his brilliant 'let's go hiking' ideas.

I'd also like to check out another historical site: the Foo Lin Kong temple. I've always been a fan of
buildings and I must admit, the Bedrock-style entrance caught my eye. That and the miniature Great Wall of China that they've got there. I miss that part of Beijing since I am no longer traveling on a regular basis to that city. The temple's on the foot of Pangkor Hill on the village of Sungai Pinang Besar. This would be a cool thing to do before going back to Nipah Bay and walking along the beach stalls scouting for ice kacang & laksa utara.

After that, the best thing to do would be to walk along Pasir Bogak Beach and see how different the sunset looks, a few kilometers north of Nipah Bay. I'd recap the day with a relaxing supper at Daddy's Cafe back on Nipah Beach. I'll sip my tea, Chris his Tiger, while we both listen to the waves.

Parts, integrated? For sure.

2008: the year of mortality?

2008-07-29T10:12:00.014+08:00

I just saw that I have 4 farewell posts for this year alone. I finally said farewell properly to my gram and I also wrote about the deaths of Chris's mum, Tan Sri Eric Chia and Prof Randy Pausch. I felt a little bit sad and I thought I'd ring my friend, Dr. Ng, to say hi. He was at his desk and we had a quick chat regarding our mixed feelings on 2008. He didn't sound too hot either; usually he'd be very happy to hear from me. One thing for sure though: he's still alive, and as per his reminder to me, so am I. The living must continue to live. That thought brought my first real smile to my face today. I must admit, waking up thinking that I NEED to be at my desk by 8:30am every weekday morning or else I have to sms the big boss does not make me jump out of bed in delight. I suppose I'm just not too happy with the fact that being at my desk at 8:30am does NOT guarantee that I leave at 6:00pm on the dot.

Wait a second - of course it does. With proper planning, I can make it happen. Now this is getting interesting.

I feel a bit more cheerful now. I'm not yet too thrilled about giving up my Friday to finish my work in the office. I used to have the option of working off site for Fridays. It was a different kind of freedom knowing that I had created that time-off option for myself for the last 6 months. In fact, my employer still owes me 2 Fridays. I'll send in my time sheets and plan for those days.

I'm dreaming of the seaside again. I'm going back to Bangkok next February, God-willing. Until I can plan a quick beach weekend, there's always Ramesh's beach birthday party in Attic this weekend, and there are always my flickr Pangkor photos and my post on the lovely weekend.

In the meantime, here are my toes in the sand. Nipah Bay, I will return.

Randy Pausch dies

2008-07-28T09:08:00.003+08:00

-Randy Pausch Inspired Millions-

Randy Pausch, the professor at Carnegie Mellon University who inspired countless students in the classroom and others worldwide through his highly acclaimed last lecture, has died of complications from pancreatic cancer. He was 47.

Also a Carnegie Mellon alumnus, Pausch co-founded the Entertainment Technology Center and led researchers who created Alice, a revolutionary way to teach computer programming. He was widely respected in academic circles for a unique interdisciplinary approach, bringing together artists, dramatists and designers to break new ground by working in collaboration with computer scientists.

Outside the classroom, he gained public fame for delivering what would come to be known as "The Last Lecture." On Sept. 18, 2007, only a month after doctors told him that he had three-to-six months to live following a recurrence of pancreatic cancer, he presented a lecture called "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" to a packed auditorium at Carnegie Mellon.

The moving and often humorous talk recounted his efforts to achieve such childhood dreams as becoming a professional football player, experiencing zero gravity and developing Disney World attractions. In the process, he shared his insights on finding the good in other people, working hard to overcome obstacles and living generously.

Read the rest of the article on Carnegie Mellon homepage stories HERE.

I have the book. I remember almost leaving it at the cashier counter when the staff there mentioned that her friend had told her 'people were saying it was like the new kind of The Secret," because I figured I didn't need another one of those 'attract it and it will come' manuals.

I got to reading it after a few weeks. The feeling was like sitting with your friend who had just being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he's telling you all this stuff while you sit together on deck chairs, looking out to the sunset or sunrise or something like that. What I remember most is how he gave new life to the cliche 'running into the the brick wall. He said, "The brick walls are there for a reason. Right? The brick walls are not there to keep us out, the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough," Think about that. How many brick walls have we faced? What did we do when we run into one? How many times have WE become brick walls ourselves?

Right now, my heart aches. Not so much because of reading the sad news, but strangely enough, there's an ache in my chest when I realize that the deaths of people not related to me have moved me more than the loss of my own family members. I dare not imagine the reason why. In the meantime, I will finish reading the Last Lecture tonight. There's only a little bit more to go.

Goodbye, Dr. Pausch. May flights of angels sing you to your rest.

I kinda like Mondays...

2008-07-22T09:21:00.002+08:00

Good routines are comforting. For me, after work on Mondays, I have a quick workout at the gym. After that, it's Bones on NTV7 and NCIS on 8TV. Love the Bones fansite. Click here to check it out. Both series offer me eye candy - David Boreanaz in Bones and Mark Harmon + Michael Weatherly in NCIS. If Special Agent Tony DiNozzo looks familiar to you, it's probably because you've seen him in James Cameron's Dark Angel, where Weatherly played Logan to Jessica Alba's main character

As for NCIS, check out the TV.com page here. It's got episode recaps, reviews and information on the cast too.

Good writing, interesting backstory about the characters that don't detract from the plot; I look forward to my Monday evenings.

What the.....?

2008-07-11T16:04:00.004+08:00

Did my eyes trick me? I had to read and re-read the whole story to be sure.

Cops vs cops in Gemas station - Sarban Singh (The Star, Fri 11 July 2008)

GEMAS: A policeman has lodged a report against all his colleagues including his superiors allegedly over dissatisfaction on how the monthly bribes from those operating illegal activities was being distributed.

In retaliation, one of his superiors, a sergeant, lodged another police report against the policeman, a lance corporal, for allegedly selling station property to scrap dealers.

A source said the lance corporal, in his 40s, was dissatisfied with his superiors for allegedly taking the lion’s share of the bribes while the rank and file received very little.

“In fact, the complainant claimed that he did not get a sen,” the source said.

The report was lodged earlier this week.

The sergeant, in an apparent tit-for-tat, lodged another report against the lance corporal alleging that he had sold some old wooden and iron furniture from the police station to a dealer.

“His colleagues even know where the dealer is operating from,” the source said.

Read more here

I'm not sure which one is the more worrying thing - the fact that the cops are still taking bribes or that taking bribes is so embedded in the their culture that they use the system to lodge a report on the unfairness of how the monthly bribes were being distributed!

What will be reported next? Dissatisfaction of how "territories are being allocated" and how this "impacts the incoming flow of income from protection fees?"

Oh my goodness.

One man army down

2008-06-25T13:14:00.005+08:00

Wednesday June 25, 2008

Eric Chia dies of heart attack

By V. CHANDRASEKARAN

SUNGAI PETANI: Former Perwaja Steel managing director Tan Sri Eric Chia Eng Hock died of a heart attack at his Park Avenue Hotel yesterday. He was 74.

A maid called for help after Chia failed to respond when she tried to wake him up at 9am.

The hotel's panel doctor confirmed that the tycoon had died of a heart attack.

**************
Read more from The Star http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/6/25/nation/21651121&sec=nation

I was in the middle of writing Module 2 when I saw this news online yesterday afternoon. In June 2007, he was acquitted in the KL Sessions Court of committing criminal breach of trust 14 years ago. I was struck by his statement when the acquittal was announced. He told the press that the vindication came too late. He had already lost his family and was estranged from his children because the shame of the court case.

When I was a junior in UUM, I was part of the educational trip planned by the Management Executive Club (MEC). One of our stops was Perwaja Steel in my hometown state of Terengganu. We aimed to see the Big Kahuna of course, but we had been told earlier that regretfully, he would not be able to join us due to schedule conflict. We were welcomed warmly by senior managers of Perwaja Steel, who briefed us on the company and on their work. When I asked those 2 gentlemen about their experience working with the Tan Sri, their faces took on a different expression, like someone talking about their favorite uncle. They told me how he not only cared about the employees, but also about their families. They told me about the housing complex, the working and living environment, and how he accepted everyone the way there are. Race difference? WHAT race difference? All work for the same company, nationals of the same country, yes? Yes.

Then came the surprise. The Big Kahuna arrived! The helicopter landed and he joined us. Were we awed? You bet your bottom Ringgit we were. I watched the senior managers' faces, plus a few junior managers that walked in to join the session - they all looked relaxed, pleased to see their big boss. Quite different from the look of a boot-licker, I had noted. He welcomed us warmly and ushered us to our tea and kuih. Some wisecracking senior from our team pointed out to the Tan Sri that we also had a Terengganu-an in our midst (that would be me, of course) and the Tan Sri asked me their names and what my parents did. I told him they worked in KT general hospital. He then joked that he needed medication for his sore throat. I replied, perhaps out of nervousness until I forgot to put a clamp on my mouth - "Just go look for my parents in the GH and tell them I sent you. They'll help you right away!" Yep - I was indeed amusing in my youth.

Privately, I had asked him for advice. What would work best for us when we jump into the dog-eat-dog world after graduation? He looked at me and told me this: "My dear, you need to care about the people who work with you and care about your work. Just care." Noticing how we could chat easily, the same wise-cracking senior labeled me "anak angkat Eric Chia" until long after we returned from that trip. I didn't mind.

Regardless of what he was accused of, I choose to remember the late Tan Sri Eric Chia's warm, booming laugh. A happy man who loved his work and cared about the people who worked with him.

Farewell, sir.

Are we ready for each other?

2008-06-04T19:01:00.000+08:00

I never thought the honeymoon period would ever end.
I always thought that whatever happens, I'll be able to cope.
I always thought that I'd never need to even THINK of adjusting to any change,
because whatever the change may be, I'd be able to absorb it painlessly.

Was I wrong!

The announcement came and my ears and eyes are still ringing from it.

2.70 Malaysian Ringgit per liter. Even my SLK would feel that hit.

I'm ready for the public transport. I've always unconsciously placed myself in rather strategic locations to be able to choose that mode of transportation. I'd walk out of my apartment gate, hop on the feeder bus of choice, and go. Either to an LRT station, or to another stop along the bus' route. Or I'd park my SLK at the park n ride LRT station and hop on the train with my touch n go card forever at the ready.

However, is the public transport ready for me? And the possible influx of commuters that could show their faces from tomorrow onwards?

Will the park n ride car park bays be enough for us?
or will we be faced with the operators shaking their heads and hands, with no answers to our frustrated question of "WHERE DO I PARK THE FRIGGIN CAR, THEN??"

Will the feeder buses be in excellent running condition?
or will we spend a good portion of the ride waiting by the side of road, covered in dust and grime, next to a bus that has the engine flap up, listening to the driver tell us about the 'engine being from Germany and no one knows how to fix it'? That was their stock answer a few years ago, just replace 'German engine' with 'German gear box'. Has anyone peeked at any of the bus depots? Looks like a graveyard for dinosaurs, nestled amongst kelapa sawit trees.

Will the bus pilots be fresh n timely fed n watered?
or will we continue to spend a good part of the bus rides waiting in the bus while he trots off to tapau his breakfast / lunch/ dinner / supper? Ya I know they gotta eat too, so dont diss me with the indignant remarks of me being human-rights unfriendly.

I'm ready for the public transport system.

ARE THEY READY FOR ME???

They'd better be.

The living must continue to live

2008-05-27T11:09:00.004+08:00

It's been rather a turbulent month-and-a half.

So many emotional roller-coaster rides. They were all my choices though. No one twisted my arm behind my back or knocked me on the head to make me acquiesce. I realize that now. That helps to put things in perspective.

I don't really feel comfortable about moaning a break-up in a relationship with a guy while a few thousand miles away, mothers mourn the deaths of their babies and children screamed in pain at loss of limbs, amputated without anesthesia, in order for doctors to save their young lives.

I'm blessed. And I still have hopes.

So I leave you with the words of Martin Luther, quoted by Martin Luther King, Jr. -

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces,

I would still plant my apple tree.”

Lupe Fiasco featuring Matt Santos - Superstar

2008-05-25T13:02:00.004+08:00

The first time I heard Matthew Santos here, I thought I was listening to Ryan Tedder - it has a OneRepublic-ish groove about it. Which is very interesting, cos when I heard him on Shadows in a Shoebox and My Remedy, he sounded rather different. I enjoy Superstar though. Very much.

Feel like singing along? Here you go.

If you are what you say you are, a superstar
Then have no fear, the camera's here
And the microphones
And they wanna' know oh oh oh, yeah

Yeah, uh
A fresh cool young Lu'
Tryna' catch his microphone check 2, 1, 2
Wanna' believe my own hype but it's too untrue
The world brought me to my knees, what have you brung you?
Did you improve on the design? Did you do somethin' new?
Well ya' name ain't on the guest list, who brung you?
YOU! The more famous person you come through
And the sexy lady next to you, you come too
And then it hit me
Standin' outside of heaven waitin' for god to come and get me
I'm too uncouth
Unschooled to the rules and too gumshoe
Too much of a newcomer and too un-cool
Like Shadow and Lavelle, I battle wit' it well
Tho I need holiday like lady who sung "Blue"
Go back, whatever you did you undo
Heavy as heaven
The devil on me, two ton's too

If you are what you say you are, a superstar
Then have no fear, the camera's here
And the microphones
And they wanna' know oh oh oh oh, yeah

And ya' better wear ya' shades
The spotlights here can burn holes through the stage
Down to the basement pass the Indian graves
Where the dinosaurs laid
Then out through shinin', nearly miss the airliners
Magnified times five, 'less its pointed at the ryhmer
Ricochets off the moon and sets the forest ablaze
Now that's important to say
'Cause even with all that most of us don't want it to fade
We want it to braid, meaning we want it to grow
Meaning we want it to stay
Like the Governor called and he told him to wait
Un-strap him from the chair and put him back in his cage
The audience ain't fazed
And they ain't gon' clap and they ain't gon' praise
They want everything back that they've paid
'Cause they've been waitin' since ten to see the lights get dim

If you are what you say you are, a superstar
Then have no fear, the crowd is here
And the lights are on
And they wanna show oh oh oh, yeah

So chauffeur chauffeur come and take me away
'Cause I've been standin' in this line for like five whole days
Me and security ain't getting' along
And when I got to the front, they told me all of the tickets were gone
So just take me home where the mood is mellow
And the roses are grown, M&Ms are yellow
And the light bulbs around my mirror don't flicker
Everybody gets a nice autograph picture
One for you and one for your sister
Who had to work tonight but is an avid listener
Every song's her favorite song and mics don't feedback
All the reviewers say "You need to go and see that"
And everybody claps 'cause everybody is pleased
And then they all take the stage and start performin' for me
Like, ha ha ha ha ha, Ha ha ha ha ha.Ha

If you are what you say you are, a superstar
Then have no fear, the camera's here
And the microphones
And they wanna' know oh oh oh yeah

If you are...what you say you are
Then have no fear

Lesson, quoted

2008-05-23T09:45:00.002+08:00

While reading about chess moves last night, I came across this in SS Quah's blog and I'd like to share this with you all. Thanks, SS.

******************************

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry someone you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you wan t.

FOUR. When you say “I love you”, mean it.

FIVE. When you say “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask “Why do you want to know?”

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

I'm about to go analyze some data now, so I'll come back to this later. Cheers!

MACHO ke MANGKUK? Meh sini I bagi tau...

2008-05-22T11:52:00.013+08:00

MM Still nak maintain macho ye? Even after I have specifically, clearly, explicitly informed that with me, no such acts are necessary!

Marah? Memang lah marah! Menyampah pun ada.

Nak tau tak macho tu macam mana? Meh sini I cakap macho tu macam mana, from ONE WOMAN's point of view. Ladies, if you don't agree with me, sorry lah - this is just MY point of view. Gents, if you don't agree with me, stop reading RIGHT NOW. I don't give a rat's ass this one time.

Here goes.

Taking her hand (or holding out your hand so that she can take it) and holding her hand while crossing the road? MACHO.
Crossing the road without glancing to see if she's still next to you or is left waddling behind you 200 effing meters away? MANGKUK.

Offering to take her shopping bag from her and carrying it for her (even for a short while)? MACHO.
Cracking jokes about how come you're still holding YOUR shopping bag instead of HER
holding it for you AND letting her carry YOUR shopping bag? MANGKUK tu.

Holding her hand when she's ill or calling her to find out how she's doing and sounding like you mean it (even if you don't really care that much and you're more concerned about the goal that your favorite soccer team was supposed to score at the time)? MACHO.
Txting her 'so?how u now? ok or not?' and NOT offering to see her when she needs someone to talk to after her medical checkup? MANGKUK.

Offering to take her on a picnic or a day trip to cheer her up cos she told you she needs a quick break and she's been a grumpy bitch for the longest time? MACHO.
Tarik harga and punishing her by not calling and txting her for 3 days or something cos she's been a grumpy bitch for the longest time? MANGKUK lah...

Making breakfast for her cos she's MUCH MORE cheerful after breakfast, even if it's just a cup of coffee or one piece of bread with a glass of water? MACHO.
Asking her 'Eh? You never make breakfast for me ah?' and laughing like it's the funniest joke you've made, AFTER she ironed your shirt for you? Effing MANGKUK, dude.

Slowing down your pace when you're walking together so that you CAN walk together? MACHO.

Leaving her trailing behind in the neighboring district cos your giraffe-length legs need to

maintain your manly stride? So the MANGKUK, ok?

and at the top of the dungheap,

'MESSIN WIT' HER HEAD' when she humbly asked you not to? MANGKUK la, MANGKUK!!!

Notes:
Mighty Mouse image courtesy of theanimationartgallery.com. And no, my MM tag does not refer to sweet Mighty Mouse.

My hero, Danger Mouse's image courtesy of i108.photobucket.com

...barefoot in the sand, motorbiked 'round the island

2008-05-20T18:17:00.007+08:00

Can you schedule something spontaneous?

At least I think that's what happened.

For several weeks now I had been feeling rather out of sorts with work. A project that I am taking care of, that's supposed to be my baby, has reached a plateau and I just lost interest in driving it. Coupled by a few more urgent and important assignments that need my input, I just let the original content project slide. I almost snapped at everyone every time, and MM has not been much of a help, acting macho with me when he didn't need to; he looked as attractive to me as the punching bag I have hanging from a ceiling hook in my living room. Honestly. MM, if you're reading this, YOU KNOW who you are. So I decided that I will go for a weekend retreat. Something soothing, something nearby, something that would not burn a hole in my pocket.

Last weekend, I just couldn't wait any longer. I was getting grumpy at every little thing and every time I stood in front of my dresser mirror, I see myself in a bathing suit, about to head into the sea. I mentioned my plan to my travel buddy and upon mutual agreement, we left on Saturday, on our road trip to Lumut. The ultimate backup plan was to check out Lumut, use the return ferry trip to check out Pangkor, then surf around Sitiawan, Sri Manjung, maybe even Teluk Intan, before returning home to KL. So, regardless of what Lumut and Pangkor had to offer, accomodation-wise, we would be ready, and we'd have a great time anyway.

Both Lumut and Pangkor had reasonable accomodation for us, and we checked into Hotel Putra in Lumut. Grimy bathroom and the rooms smell like broom cupboards. I never was one to spend long evenings in hotel rooms anyway (unless I was staying in Bangkok's Royal Orchid Sheraton and Sheraton Laguna Phuket) so I had a lovely time exploring Lumut. The shops, the interesting hotel signs, and a nice chill-out pub named Rockafellas.

Adik, who recommended Rockafellas, managed the camp that would be our accommodation on Pangkor Island. I loved it! I had so much fun and for once, I found it difficult to leave the cool waters of Nipah Bay beach.

It was a good weekend, and now I'm back, ready to drive the project again, and be nice again to MM. Heh heh heh..

Mission accomplished

2008-05-20T10:20:00.002+08:00

Got my ice kacang.

Had 2, in fact - one before dinner in Lumut and the other, featured here, after a long walk along Nipah Bay. Cooling, refreshing, invigorating. And I wasnt just talking about the ice kacang.

A well-deserved break, for sure!

Power my search? You betcha

2008-05-16T17:06:00.005+08:00

Still in Starbucks in Borders in the Curve.

Flipping the pages of Clay Shirky's Here Comes Everybody, and feeling rather let down by the book. It came so highly recommended. I wanted to understand communities that share similar anchors, and how personal motivation can meet collective productivity. He promised insights to 'the power of organizing without organizations', but the more I read the book, the more I feel that I could glean more from Gladwell's Tipping Point. The songs playing in the background remind me of Karen Carpenter's voice, and I suddenly remembered a movie that I watched when I was 7 or 8 years old - the title song from that movie sounded like Karen Carpenter singing something like 'bless the beast and the children' - that tune, just that one line, has played in my head for almost 30 years now. The movie also moved me a lot, I recall. It was something about boys, summer or army camp or something, and lots of running. There were animals too, but to me, the movie was about friends. (Yeh - I was 7, but by that time, thanks to my mum and dad and the sisters in St Theresa's Kindergarten, I was already bored from reading the Straits Times and Mad Magazine. Heh.

Back to the future, or present, depending on your perspective.

I turned to my good friend Google and looked for the song or movie with the words. Then I found it - it WAS a song by the Carpenters, and the movie was also of the same title! I looked it up in imdb.com and found it - the 1971 production of Bless the Beasts & Children. Plot summary is as follows, thanks to Patrick King.

"A group of adolescent boys, placed in a summer camp by their otherwise too busy parents, find themselves unable to fit in and are soon branded as bedwetters by their fellow campers and unsympathetic counselor. After their counselor exposes them to what they perceive as a cruel slaughter of corralled bison, these misfits are soon drawn to a common purpose to break free of their camp and free the bison. On their way to free the bison, individual flashbacks reveal the relationships each has with his own family and give insight to their reasons behind wanting to set the bison free. Karen and Richard Carpenter's singing of the title song occurs now and again throughout the movie to underscore the the drama."

The movie was directed by Stanley Kramer, who also directed Judgement: the Court Martial of the Tiger of Malaya - General Yamashita. He had also directed Sydney Poitier, Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy in the 1967's Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. Wow.

More importantly for me, my almost 30-year-old mystery is now solved.

What would I do without Google & imdb?

Do judge a bookshelf by the covers...

2008-05-16T14:53:00.000+08:00

Just put in my special order for Coelho's 'Eleven Minutes'. Had time to spare so I browsed leisurely. Looked through the shelves, including the Borders' recommended fiction and non-fiction volumes. Walking back to my table in Starbucks with my browsing copy of Toyota Way, the realization hit me. Recently, I see many paperback fiction covers are designed with the fonts, images and color schemes that are reminiscent of Coelho's books (esp By the River Piedra I Sat and Wept, Like the Flowing River and the Zahir). And, many non-fiction books, especially business / management / marketing / communications ones, have covers of similar color schemes with Jim Collins' Good to Great.

Is there some literary agent machination out there that did consumer interviews and found some sort of preferred color combination that just compel people to pick up a hitherto unknown book, associate it with the more successful books from Collins or Coelho or Picoult or Welch, and have a light bulb go off in their heads and straight away head to the cashier to ring the purchase?

What wonders, one wonders.

...and HOW EXACTLY has patriotism among youth declined significantly?

2008-05-15T18:55:00.002+08:00

Patriotism: "devoted love, support, and defense of one's country; national loyalty."

- American Psychological Association (APA):patriotism. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved April 13, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/patriotism

*********************
Monday April 14:
2008 Govt study: Youngsters just ain’t patriotic By IAN MCINTYRE

BACHOK: A recent Government study has revealed that patriotism levels among youth in the country have declined significantly and if left unchecked, could lead to serious consequences for nation building.

Youth and Sports Minister Datuk Ismail Sabri Yaakob said the revelation has forced the ministry to re-look its policy on how to engage youth.

The Government has admitted it has lost the support of youths and has been unable to reach out to the technology-savvy generation, he said. “We need to adapt to changing needs and lifestyles. For starters, we need to re-instill patriotism in youths regardless of their ethnicity or religious backgrounds,'' he said during his inaugural working visit to the east coast state. Earlier, he held dialogues with youth department officers and non-governmental organizations (NGOs) at the youth skills institute here.

Ismail said the ministry would now be “result-orientated” with a specific goal of restoring confidence among the young in the Government. This would include the ministry setting up its own blog as well as channeling funds directly to all youth associations, including youth-based NGOs in the country.

“We have decided to reduce bureaucracy. From now on, all funding for youth NGOs and associations will come directly from the ministry. “We would ensure the grassroots have funds to conduct activities for youths,” he said. Character-building programmes that instil patriotism are also needed to shore up support among youths, Ismail said.

*****************

I wonder, which specific parts of patriotism would be instilled into the youth, 'regardless of their ethnicity and religious background'. I'm sure the powers that be are aware that a patriot can also be described as a person who regards themselves as defender, esp of individual rights, against presumed interference by the federal govt. Not my own words, mind you. Go ahead and dictionary.com it and you'll be able to see for yourself.

I'd like to hear the youths' point of view on what does patriotism mean to them. Do they have the same images in their minds as I do? Perhaps they also see that the opposite of being patriotic can be described by the words treacherous, backstabbing, faithless, miserly or selfish.

How would our youths view the 'result-oriented' specific goal of restoring confidence in the Government among the young, as quoted in the article? What element are we focusing on, to restore confidence in? I am too old to be naive, to young to be cynical. Even then, if I were to be asked to have confidence in a body, to re-instill patriotism in my heart, I want to see a body that's honorable, incorruptible, dependable, public-spirited, unselfish.

When I was in school, it was a tradition for the 5th formers to circle the dorm and school blocks at midnight on Merdeka day. When it was our turn, my fellow form-mates and I gathered at the netball court with our lanterns. At the stroke of midnight, we started to sing the National Anthem. Being rather far from each other, our voices sounded soft and reedy in the beginning. Then, somehow, they became stronger, and the words became clearer too, all the way until the end of the song. I don't remember much of what happened after that. What I do remember is, for the first time, I heard not just the voice from my voice box, but also the voice from my heart. I felt the words for the first time. And I knew then, if I need to drop everything to defend my country, I would, and I would defend my homeland even with my bare hands.

This is a love that goes beyond 'ethnicity and religious background', and I wish the MORONS would just stop using that phrase. For me:

Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku

Rakyat hidup bersatu dan maju

Rahmat bahagia Tuhan kurniakan

Raja kita selamat bertakhta.

Always.

Being pragmatic or settling for less?

2008-05-15T16:45:00.004+08:00

Her latest update, via email:

"He'll be 40 in September, very much a BOY in a grown man's body. I've known him for years and we started dating each other exclusively for a couple of months now.

Us in a snapshot? He calls me 'his girl' and I call him 'my guy'. Some of his friends know me from before also, so I assimilate in group outings easily, as the 'big brother's GIRL'. he's very protective of me, and once, even threatened to take me home straight away when we arrived at a pub and I removed my jacket to reveal a halter neck dress that made me look like a sex symbol. Heh heh. I pouted, he relented. Sex later was bedhead-against the wall-poundingly awesome, I was sore for the whole weekend, honey.

ah but then I digress.

Basically, I wanted 1 man to focus on for the time being and he was there. I suppose he wanted 1 girl to focus on, no complications.

Quite honestly though, connection is not deep. soul mates we are not. It's all right, though. I have a feeling that we both, somehow, chose this option.

I decided to say yes to him when he said 'but I'm not sharing you with any other man' because he was clear about that, and because he committed to me that he won't date other women when I told him I "ain't too crazy about sharing you with other girls, yo" :-)

Once, we went out and ran into a few of my own friends. one of them is a guy that I had connected with before. We shared tears, laughter, dreams, fears, even ourselves, stopping short at sex. He smoldered the whole evening, watching me and my guy. Truthfully, I said yes to my guy because the one whom I believed would be happier spending his life with me, decided to listen to his logical brain and not to his heart.

You must think I've settled for less. At first, I thought so too. Then I decided to stop thinking about it. I've given it enough thought. I'll just live. For now.

The most important thing is -

we always use protection. Heh heh heh"

Immediate action needed

2008-05-14T16:55:00.004+08:00

Something short, something sweet, something economical, and I'm not even talking about me.

I'm talking about a nice little getaway, a trip near to home. About sipping ABC and watching the world go by at Lumut waterfront. The ferry ride to Pangkor Island, walking around the markets, just walking around in general.

Yeh - immediate action indeed.

The End.

2008-05-12T13:31:00.003+08:00

And just like that, he dumped her. Unceremoniously, too. The bastard.

Pedagogical Pop features Say (All I Need)

2008-04-25T00:25:00.002+08:00

My friend, Yoga, commented that the lines that struck a nerve with him were -

Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it

His comment prompted us both to look at the meaning of the words here. I then realized that, to me, this OneRepublic song is uplifting, instead of depressing. An internal chat, rather than questions I ask someone else; definitely not a lament of a broken soul.

When I listen to this song, I feel like I'm sitting down by a river or in a Japanese garden, listening to a dialog between my logical brain with my heart.

You see, sometimes something happens and the brain says "wait a tic - this doesnt make bloody sense" . Then she gets a little bit loopy and forces me to decide on the next step purely from a logical point of view. At the end of the day though, my brain is not happy. That's why she asked:

Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong,
but nothing's turned out how you wanted

I feel like my brain is asking my heart for advice, or even criticizing her for being somewhat naive, and telling her off; to 'get real'. My heart says -

Bless my soul,you're a lonely soul,
cause you won't let go of anything you hold
Well, all I need is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head

My heart quickly follows up with her questions too -

Do you know what your fate is,
And are you trying to shake it
You're doing your best and your best look,
You're praying that you make it

I believe in the linkage between my heart and my logical brain. My heart asks my brain to believe in the link between them. This link is important for me to maintain my inner harmony. To always remember that living this life is most meaningfully done through doing the right things and doing things right. That's the reason why I find this song uplifting, instead of depressing. It's about hope. It's about moving forward in life. It's about living my life and discovering the purpose of ME. My heart again encourages my brain to trust the link by asking, gently -

Whenever the end is,
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there, go on -
go ahead and scream it.
Just say.

My heart is saying to my head that they both are on the same side. The highest purpose of both my heart and my brain is to take care of me. And that's the message I get from this song. That's why it cheers me up every time.

Foolishness, thy name is the Malaysian education system

2008-04-15T01:13:00.017+08:00

She graduated in the top 10% of her class, earning her a First Class Hons. Degree. Then she went off to the Promised Land – a premiere telecommunications company that is well-known in the country and the immediate surrounding areas. Shortage of salespeople, they told her, so in she went and began her 8-year bonding period with her employer. She’s in her 4th year now. Performance evaluation shows that she hasn’t been performing. Not meeting expectation, she’d told. A brilliant scholar, they told me, so I naturally I was curious. What a dynamic, pulsating brain she must have, I thought; limitless capabilities of processing logic, defining possibilities, designing multiple options for solutions to complex problems and all that shite. Her friend asked me to talk to her. I reminded her friend that she must be the one asking for help, but her friend insisted that I pop by for a chat. I had time on my hands, and I was only meeting MM much later for dinner, so I met up with the brain box for a chat. And what a chat it was…

Me: So, you’ve been here for almost 4 years, ya?
(She nods)
Me: How do you feel about this place?
She: I like it here. I want to stay in this organization.
Me: Right. What do you like about this place?
She: It’s a secure job. Lots of benefits. I can be sure of a good retirement package when I’m done with work.
Me: A – ha. How do you feel about your current role?
She: I hate it.
Me: What do you hate about it?
She: I’m not good at it. I don’t know how to be a salesperson. Every time I go for performance review I get a bad experience. I’m never meeting expectations. Every year I wait for a vacancy announcement in the technical area so that I can request a transfer but I never hear anything. I give up already.
Me: That sounds tough.
(She nods)
Me: You really want to go into the more technical line, huh?
(She nods again)
Me: So…what are you doing about it?
(She looks up, startled)
She: About what?
Me: About getting into a more technical line of work in this same organization.
She: Didn’t you hear what I said? I waited for the vacancy announcement every year and there’s none! It’s really not about what you know in here, but about WHO you know. How can YOU not see that?
(She reminds me of a lioness about to go hunting)
Me: Other than waiting for the announcement every year, what else are you doing about it?
(She remains silent)
Me: Did you discuss your dismal performance with your boss?
(She resorts to glaring at me)
Me again: Did you identify your own development plan? Did you propose action plans to your boss? Did you inform your boss what could be done to help improve your performance? What did your boss say about your continuous, consistently bad performance? What role are you playing in your sales team? What’s the purpose of you being there?
(Her ears are almost as red as her face)
She: It’s HIS responsibility to develop my career! I shouldn’t be telling him how to do his work!
Me: How would this look like to heads of technical departments? What would you think this would represent?
She: It would represent me being unhappy in my current work and I’d only be happy in a technical line that suits my honors degree.
Me: What if I tell you this picture could be representing something totally negative?
She: How can that be? I’m a techie, and so are they! They would know that a techie like me would be unhappy doing Sales, and that’s why I suck at it.
(I decided to move in for the kill. Better put this cretin out of her misery now.)
Me: What this picture is showing them could be this: you have no interest in learning something new. There is no flexibility at all in your behavior no initiative at all to venture into something new no creativity at all to discover how else to use the excellent brain that you’ve been given that helped you gain the best result in your exams. Rather than take the lemons that you’ve been given and make lemonade you sit and whine and handed over the power of choice to other people. They might be thinking how can I trust this person with the tough techie work in my unit if she can’t even handle Sales? How can I leave her to work independently and/or with the rest of the team like a well-oiled machine when at the slightest downturn she gives up everything and will in fact bring the whole team down?
( I didn't even pause. No comma throughout, just a question mark at the end)
She: How would you know anything? You know nothing about me! You have no idea what I went through!
Me: That’s right. I don’t. Then you tell me how wrong my estimate is about the kind of image that you’re presenting to head of tech divisions.
(She actually glowered at me then)
She: So what should I do then?
Me: What do you WANT to do?
She: Get a techie job.
Me: So, what are you doing about it?
She: You’re supposed to tell me that. Aren’t you some sort of life coach or something? Some coach you are, if you come here and ask questions and expect ME to come up with the answers.
Me: Now this picture is representing not only stubbornness but a preference for spoon-feeding.
She: So you're giving up too? Guess even you can’t handle someone like me, right? I knew that you were some bogus wannabe coach or something.
(I got up and looked at her. Poor kid. I'm not angry, just calm and relaxed.)
Me: I only work with people who want to work out their issues, who are ready for change, who are ready to release whatever inside them that are holding them back. People who recognize that if doing what they’re doing doesn’t give them the results they want, it’s worth to change what they do until they get the results they want. I show them the potential paths forward and they decide where to go. Until you are mature enough to know what I’m talking about, I wish you good luck and take care. If you need to talk, call me.
She: What makes you think that I would want to talk to you?
Me: Because surely you're not as silly as you make yourself out to be now, are you?

I thanked her for her time and walked out of the lounge area. At the lobby, I smoked a Gudang Garam while watching MM's car come up the driveway. I tossed the rest of the pack to him when I got in the car. He leaned over to kiss my cheek and asked me who I met. I paused for a bit, got a new piece of chewing gum out and popped it in my mouth.

I had met the typical output of the Malaysian education system, I told him.

He grinned. "Poor baby," he said. He kissed me on my forehead, pocketed the Gudang Garam pack, put the car in gear and drove me off to dinner. Yeh. Poor baby, I said in my heart, thinking of the young woman I left sitting in the lounge.

He finally found her

2008-04-12T02:00:00.002+08:00

Remember him? Well, after more than 5 years, he finally found her. When he asked her, she listened to her heart. Her heart didnt say much. Her heart just said, "we're in sync. Life is our classroom. Let's learn." So she replied - "What took you so long?" He threw his head back in laughter, lifted her off her feet and into his arms for a long hug. When they kissed, they realised that they BOTH had found each other. This is meant to happen now, not 5 years ago.

And it's all right.

Just love

2008-03-13T22:18:00.003+08:00

A good friend of mine and his girl broke up and he said this: "I jumped into a relationship with the best intentions and they backfired in my face, so i'll just plod on, pick meself up and start again [albeit with a more dubious, cynical outlook than last time. If i've learned anything it's not give yourself too freely and for sure SAVE some of yourself...for yourself."

I wrote back to him and told him this:
Not to give ourselves freely to our loved one presents a bigger risk of regret. How can we be sure that we've given the best we can and lived all the moments in that relationship if we know in the back of our heads that we saved some of ourselves as cushioning, just in case? This does not help to answer honestly these questions:

1. If my he/she had access to all of me / my soul / my self would we have had a more fulfilling relationship?
2. Could I have done more?

Sure, we can answer those questions, but answers that are not completely honest means we are not being completely truthful to ourselves. There's also a potential for the relationship to be a self-fulfilling prophecy (I need to be more dubious and cynical because thats the only way to save my heart from being shattered again). The deep hell of 'what-ifs' is not a place for anyone I care about.

So, just love. Love as wholly as we can. Have faith in our heart's ability to heal. Be harmonious with the fact that we love ourselves and we give all of our heart to build a warm, loving relationship that brings out the best in us. If the relationship doesnt turn out as how we wanted it to, accept the fact and let's be grateful that we have had the opportunity to love and be loved in return.

For at least 2 years I have not loved anyone, I thought I was doing the right thing and my critical, analytical thinking saved my soul from hurt. I was wrong. I forgot about my heart's ability to heal. I did not feel any love because I did not love. I believed that every time a relationship ended, I could pick up my shattered heart from the floor, but the pieces would never be whole again. And that's what happened, because I believed it. I see the truth now. I'm grateful for the vision, because if not, I wouldnt have realised how I let my soul die. And this is as much as a continuous reminder to myself more than me sharing this opinion with you.

Please re-consider your strategy. You are good enough to love and to be loved. There's no need to keep a % of you to you, for you. Separate intentions from behaviour: hate the behaviour, not the person.

I asked for his forgiveness if I was too brash and insensitive in my remarks, I just will not let someone I know go forth with a strategy that I have seen to have more potential to destroy than to heal.

Was I too brash?

I think I have my own thought about this issue

2008-03-09T14:15:00.004+08:00

I was watching the PRU 12 results program on TV last night and one academician, when asked by the moderator, "What do you do think about this?" He responded, "I think I have my own thought about this issue..."

As opposed to what? Having someone else's thoughts, perhaps?

I understand the stress of thinking and talking at the same time. The demands of being articulate at all time - aiyoh. So, I may be a bit mean or petty for having a bit of fun here, but please forgive me - I just will not resist the lure, this time.

So here's what I say.

I think I have my own thoughts about things too.

I think someone should take down the posters, now that the election is over.
I think the politicians who have now been forced down should take their families for vacation.
I think the warriors who lost the fight (and lucky enough to keep their heads) should sit down and write (handwritten, not berking computer-printout-ed) thank you letters to their teams who helped them on their campaigns.
I think these books are worth revisiting, even if just for shits and giggles - Jeffrey Archer's The Prodigal Daughter and First Among Equals.
I think the new-elects should grab copies of BBC's Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister DVDs and watch them. Turn the subtitles on to immediately increase your vocabulary.
I think scoring high marks in Sim City should be mandatory for town planners and town council officials. For aspiring castle-building city councillors, their practical exam should be the board game Notre Dame or the RPG Civilizations / Command and Conquer.
I think 4 years would be a good time to start doing some soul-searching.

I think it's time for me to get me an ashtray.
I think it's a good time to change to Marlboro Lights.
Oh, yeah.

I'll bring you along when you're older

2008-03-08T13:45:00.005+08:00

After their grandmother died, their mum would go out on her bike every day, once a day. He'd ask her where she went when she returned. She told him that she went out to visit a friend. He would ask her to take him along and every time she would tell him that she'll bring him along when he got older. One day, she brought him along on her bike ride. What a long ride it was. The road was winding and all, through rubber estate and such. Then he saw the lane clearing to their grandmother's cemetary. Her plot was draped with beautiful flowers. So that was their mother's destination, every day, for a year. He was 9 years old then.

Chris and his brothers were on their way back home after they had chosen the plot for their mum's burial when he told them the story. Only then he could cry.

Rest in peace, Mrs Kok.

Let's dance

2008-03-04T17:14:00.002+08:00

"We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance." - Japanese proverb

I was researching quotes and articles focusing on positive attitude and change, and I found that one. Reading it brought a smile on my face. Wanna know why? It reminded me of a picture I had in my mind. You can see this picture too! Picture it with me; it's Starbucks in the evening. There are a few people in the cafe. Some working on their laptops, some reading, some chatting with friends. All relaxing, nursing a Starbucks beverage in their hands. Customary in any Starbucks cafe, music would be playing in the background. This time, some island acoustic tune is playing. Makes you think of a backdrop of swaying palm trees and hammocks, neh? Now, to this picture of Starbucks cafe that you have in your mind, add to it a few girls in Hawaiian hula grass skirts, gently moving their hips and arms to the rhythm of the music.

Did I see this in Starbucks that one evening? NOPE. What I saw was everything else, except for the girls in the grass skirts. The cafe's patrons were all doing what they were doing, as always. It wasn't a busy night in the cafe then. But what if, though? What if, a few patrons just decided to stand up and sway near their tables, in appreciation of the gentle acoustic guitar, strumming in the background? Would the staff come out from behind their counter and stop them? Would people walking along the corridor outside the cafe stop and stare? Point their fingers at the crazy people and snicker? I'm not sure. I'm not that brave a man to venture and find out...

Aaanyway, I pointed that fact out to Chris when he came to get me. Actually, I moved my arms about my sides in what I had imagined would be a Hawaiian hula girl-style, and gestured to the music, hoping he'd put 2 and 2 together. He did. At least that got a laugh out of him. Hehe.

I will dance in my living room. I will smile even when no one's looking. And I will remember that everything's gonna be all right.

In the meantime, we are fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.

Photo of Sanada-san provided by japan-zone.com

Valuable advice, indeed

2008-03-04T13:18:00.005+08:00

I was at zenhabits.net and saw that Leo was having a 100-questions extravaganza. I jumped at the opportunity to get his feedback on something that was on my mind. Below is my question, and Leo's prompt response.
***************

Faz asked: “What’s your advice to someone who’s on her journey to find her true voice and her true self?”

Man, you guys aren’t asking easy ones! There is no right answer here, but here goes:

Listen, experiment, be bold.

Listen, because it’s only when we find quiet in our lives and can get away from the din of the world that we can actually hear our inner voice.

Experiment, because you’ll never know what you’re going to love until you try it. Do a variety of things until you’ve found your passion — or one of your passions, at least.

Be bold, because fear is what stops us from finding our calling, our love, ourselves. Don’t let fear stop you. Laugh in the face of that fear, and be bold.

Good luck Faz! You’re on a wonderful journey.

*****************
And indeed - I believe it too. I AM on a wonderful journey. Thanks, Leo.

Discover Italia!

2008-03-04T12:59:00.006+08:00

For quite some time now, I have been fascinated by Italy. The food, naturally, the language, the history, the ruins, the people, the climate, the geography, the architecture - the list is almost endless.

Today's chautauqua is about the importance of having dreams. I feel lifted whenever I think of myself going off to discover a new destination. For the last few years however, I've let the nature of my 3-year work in a German MNC ruin my own vision. During that time, I traveled like nobody's business. I would jet from one time zone to another, and I enjoyed it. At the end though, I associated all traveling with work, and I crippled myself. I couldnt look out the hotel window and think fun thoughts. I would only work, work, work and rush home as soon as I finish my programs, tiring myself out unnecessarily.

No more! I will dare to dream now. I will remember how I planned my first few trips by myself, discovering new cities. I will focus on the joy of having the whole day unplanned - in fact, that WAS the plan - to plan the day as I go along! I will wake up without the alarm clock and do what I want. If I happen to enjoy doing the same thing every morning, I will do just that. I will just be.

And now I will go discover Italia. Prego!

*photo courtesy of www.discoveritaly.com

What am I attracting again?

2008-03-03T20:50:00.003+08:00

After a couple of weeks of posting non-chautauqua thoughts, I thought I'd come back on track with one about awareness of one's conscious and sub-conscious decisions - in particular, being aware of the voices in one's head.

A few Mondays ago, I was happily walking from the carpark to my client's office. Note the key phrase 'happily' here ya? While attempting to cross a lane, I accidently twisted and sprained my left ankle pretty bad. After a sharp pain, I continued walking. I had thought then that it was one of my somewhat normal occurence of 'weak-ankling'. However, it's already my third Monday today, and that ankle still hurts something bad. I've been curious about this for a long time now. Why the heck am I still hurting my ankle? What is my secondary gain for getting this injury again and again? Did I make a subconscious decision that people will take care of me more and pay attention to me if I continuously be sick and limp all over the place? I know for fact that I dont do that anymore. I know that the people who care about me just care about me and I dont need to put myself in 'victim mode' to feel loved. I am loved and I'm grateful that I am.

Remembering the Law of Attraction brought my attention to an article by the guy who wrote the book, Michael J Losier (he's coming to Malaysia; I saw a poster with that info in front of Borders Curve earlier this evening - go ahead and Google him). There's this one that mentioned common reasons why you are attracting what you DON’T want. Among them are: Using Don’t, Not and No, Observing What You DON’T want, Limited Beliefs and Talking about what you don’t want. There you go. This is based on the debate that when you send out negative vibes, you attract negative stuff to happen to you. Am I willing my ankle to NOT get better? Aghhhh!!

However, as I'm writing this, I realise something. Aiyoh - must I analyse everything? I was walking too fast probably, at the time, and as I was wearing shoes that I was comfortable with, I probably was not walking carefully enough. That, and I wanted to hurry to get to my client. So I got careless and did not see the unevenness of the lane. So I tripped and sprained my ankle. So what. I'll wear ankle brace, stop doing bodystep class and alternate between steaming and icing it, and I'll be fine. I'll just be more careful next time.

Sometimes, we humans think too damn much.

I love you and I want to have your babies

2008-02-28T13:49:00.005+08:00

There I was, my gym card in hand, waiting for the front office person to hand over my designated towels for my workout for the day. He turned around and looked at me (or rather, right through me, from the looks of it) very blankly, and asked:

"Towels?"

I looked deep into his eyes and said:

"No, I'm just standing here to tell you that I love you and I want to have your babies."

AS IF.

Cut back into real life -

I looked at him and nodded, gesturing to my gym card that clearly indicated my type of membership as a towel-deserving-dong-based-on-the-additional-26-ringgit-that-I-cough-out-per-month.

He gave me my towels and I thanked him with an extra sweet smile.

On the treadmill, I entertained myself with other options to answer his question of "Towels?"

No - one plate of chicken rice, please
No - I need a new gym card with Angelina Jolie's picture on it to replace mine
No - mee goreng mamak satu!
I dont know - what can I get if I show you my membership card?

and more, but I stop here.

Parted no more

2008-02-26T09:30:00.008+08:00

After years of drifting away from each other, they finally got together again. They chatted with each other, reminisced, and spoke about things the way friends who have regained contact after many years of absence do. So many things had changed after 5 years, yet still many things stayed the same. They both looked older, yet the cheekiness in their smiles remained. They were apart for many years and had gone through a lot, but the warm familiarity brought them close, even closer than before. They had both grown up, even though both had declared to never be tempted to even consider becoming mature adults, even if growing old is compulsory.

On the way home, he held her hand tight, their fingers interlaced. They talked non-stop until their voices grew husky and laughed until they had stitches in their sides. He held her in his arms until her breathing deepened to sleep. It was a rainy night, and when the thunder startled her, he stroked her back and soothed her until they both drifted off. In the morning, she awoke before the alarm rang. He opened his eyes and looked across the pillow into her smiling face. He smiled back. He felt like he'd been sleeping with her next to him forever.

Finally he is home. SHE is his home.

Faith healed

2008-02-13T13:41:00.009+08:00

Just when I thought I'd managed to lose all faith in the the goodness of human heart, I chanced upon a quote by Ghandi.

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Here's the funny/interesting thing - right after I read that, I felt my forehead soften, making a frown (that I had not been aware of earlier) disappear. My jaws unclenched - I didn't realize that they had been tense before. My eyebrows lifted and the areas around my eyes relaxed. My facial muscles melt into a small smile.

So today's Chautauqua is about healing. I want to remind myself that I am responsible to heal myself, and my subconscious mind is capable of that.

I have been rather negative very recently, without realizing it. Ever since I found myself in the middle of a misunderstanding between a young girl and her beau. She thinks what she has with her bloke is something really special and exclusive, whereas the bloke has always been very publicly clear about how single his matchstick is. Perhaps she believes that he's only keeping his toothbrush in her mug and only hers, when hers is not the only mug that's storing his toothbrush around town. I naturally checked him out the best I could, before rubbing noses with him, but I suppose I girl can go wrong sometimes...

However, it was quite the loveliest month, I must say. Regardless of his charming raconteur ways and slight braggart exterior, when we were alone, what shone through was his gentle warmth and humility. A strong desire to please those with him, an endearing unpretentiousness - perfectly happy to laugh at himself (I had a lot of opportunity to do that, yeh). We spoke on the phone a lot too, and emailed each other when we were not together.

Then the bombshell landed - such harsh words were spoken by someone so young. A seductress, she called me. Such a sad, pitiful, deceitful life, she called mine. For snatching someone that belonged to someone else, she maintained. My innocence? No such thing, according to her.

As much as I thought I didn't give a rat's ass about it, I guess I was a bit bothered by the bitterness. In fact, I'm still a little bit bothered by it.

No - I will go back to Gandhi's quote now. And have a little bit of healing.

Items on my todo list

2008-02-12T12:45:00.000+08:00

Chautauqua today is about sharpening the saw; not the horror movie much favored by my friend, Bee - the saw here is our brain, or our soul, depending on how you want to see it. So here are my bookmarked pages, and I will get to reading them as soon as I can. In the meantime, feel free to click on the links because these gems of knowledge benefit everyone! :-)

An introduction to journal writing (why bother, and intimacy issues, among others)
http://www.diyplanner.com/node/878

The 5 types of blog posts that experts write (If you want to be known as an expert in something, you also have to know how present yourself as one. Bloggers who are known experts write in way that enforces that image)
http://www.pureblogging.com/2007/09/10/the-5-types-of-blog-posts-that-experts-write/

10 benefits of rising early (not just what's good about it, but also doable steps on HOW on earth to achieve it, too)
http://zenhabits.net/2007/05/10-benefits-of-rising-early-and-how-to-do-it/

Generating ideas for blog posts (Can you create a notebook full of potential blog post ideas? You betcha)
http://www.pureblogging.com/2008/02/07/blogstorming-generating-ideas-for-blog-posts/

What are you waiting for? Get clicking! :-)

Celebrity or non celebrity?

2008-02-04T16:28:00.000+08:00

Today's chautauqua is about Impact.

My task was to source for a speaker that focuses on personal development. There was a 'well-known face' requirement to this task ie it'd be better to find someone who's recognized by the audience. I had been struggling with this a little, until my team leader asked me for feedback regarding a popular speaker. Her question was "was his session impactful?" I think she knew that I didnt think (or more importantly, I didnt feel) that his session was impactful.

So, no more twiddling my thumbs. I spoke to someone I know who's not a TV celebrity, but really knows his stuff. We're talking about achieving maximum impact in the minimum amount of time. He's spot on for the value that I believe is what the audience is looking for, based on their feedback much , much earlier. What's in it for them, you may ask? I say, in this one hour, they will be able to reach inside themselves and hold on to something that inspires them to be positive about THEMSELVES. Hows that for impact. Heh.

Sunday Movie Sunday

2008-01-28T18:20:00.000+08:00

After housework, it seemed natural to just veg out on the carpet and cushions in the living room and watch a couple of DVDs. I've been revisiting my bookshelf a lot lately and I thought I'd give the books a rest for the afternoon. Came up with a couple of options after rummaging through my supplies: Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and Atonement.
I love the third installment of the Pirates movie. That was the first movie I watched after I graduated from my NLP training. I finally overcame my nervousness of watching a movie thats not Chicken Run. What an experience it was, watching the movie in the the theater - the effects on the big screen - awesome.

Watching it on DVD gave me a chance to relive the script and catch the more subtle messages conveyed by the actors. An eye movement here, a quick glance there. What struck me most was what Captain Teague (Keith Richards' character) said to Jack Sparrow (his son) after they voted for the King of the Brethren Court. I think it went something like this:

Jack (to his father): you've seen it all, done it - you've survived..
Teague: It's not about living forever, Jackie. The trick is, to live with yourself forever.

Stayed with me, that remark.

Many things I have done and some of them I am not proud of. Some actions were misinterpreted. Out of these, there were one or two instances where I stepped up and sought clarification and set the records straight. There were 2 instances where I chose to keep quiet and let sleeping dogs lie. I decided that it was not worth my time and effort. Both of those instances proved to be miracles to me. They became my natural filter of the people I keep around me. They showed me people who cared would want to hear my version of things, to provide a more complete picture. Those instances differentiated between the people who care and those who don't. Those who don't care already decided on which reality they want to believe in. That's all right with me. We all have different channels through which data comes through and become messages that our mind accepts.

Basically, we're all entitled to our own opinions, and I don't grudge anyone theirs.

Now - as for Atonement, that's another story for another time...a story that explores the idea of an act of kindness - could it be cowardice and evasion, viewed from another person's eyes?

2008-01-07T05:20:00.000+08:00

Gram better be in heaven now or else all this talk about faith is just a bunch of organized religion bollocks. So there.

Fire in the sky

2008-01-01T09:48:00.001+08:00

New year's eve was an intimate affair this year. I accepted Ben's invite and we headed into KL at 6pm. Chris was already there, so he could clue us in on the best option to take to go into Jln Kia Peng, where Fred lives. By the time we got there it was 7:00pm, and the sky looked overcast - I thought it was pawang time and we all hoped the KLCC folks had had a good witch doc working for them last night :-)

We walked a bit to get dinner, and the mood at the hakka place was jovial. There was a group of Japanese people at the table next to us, and they celebrated their own countdown at 11:00 pm, going by Tokyo time, I suppose. After a lovely dinner of chicken, veggies and tofu with rice (it was fun watching Fred's uncle and his friend use the chopsticks, they were good sports!) we walked back to Fred's place. His uncle opened a bottle of the 'best German wine in the world' and we counted down the final minutes of 2007 and toasted 2008 at the patio. Granted, I had my lychee juice (Chris got me lychee juice, God bless his kind soul) in the crystal champagne flute, but hey, it's the thought that counts, innit?

My last view of fireworks display was when Ben and I caught the Merdeka 2006 show at the Curve. Fireworks kinda lost their appeal to me after that, and I wasn't expecting anything that would move me. I'm so glad to be proven wrong. The colours were beautiful and to me it really looked like they were sparks coming from the heavens (or Genting Highlands hehe).

Have a look at the photos, courtesy of William Cheng CC's collection on flickr.

Aren't they awesome?

Fred's uncle and his friend went out shortly after that. We changed into our shorts and sarongs and lounged about the pool, chatting about everything and nothing; basically just enjoying each other's company. So here's a record of our resolutions, just so that my friends can know that I do have a record of them somewhere ;-)

Fred: to graduate (finally) and finish his studies by summer 2008
Ben: to find a great job with the environment that suits him best
Chris: to enjoy the year and make it the best one yet
Faz: to be a great connector of people in her network of friends, colleagues and acquaintances

We got very familiar with the family kitchen (and their 3 refrigerators) and we left Fred's place at 5 a.m. It's Ben's birthday next week, so we'll probably get together again, just before Fred returns to Bonn, I suppose.

I have a good feeling about 2008. I loved 2007 - a bit of a roller coaster in the beginning, but in principal, 2007 was the year where I got healed. I loved being 35, and I'm so looking forward to turning 36 in April. I'm grateful for what I have, and this adds to the good feeling for this new year. Here's a big hug for 2007, and I've got the welcome mat rolled out for 2008!

It takes just 7 steps

2007-12-18T16:15:00.000+08:00

Writing a report may look like a tall order, but if you follow the 7-step process below, you should be able to come up with a good report without sweating too badly (unless youre writing it in a room without a fan or airconditioning hehe..)

STEP 1 Study the terms of reference
Know the purpose, scope and audience. Having a clear understanding of the these will help you stay focused and will provide a clue to the kind of language that you need to use in your document.

STEP 2 Plan
Prepare a written plan by allocating time for key activities such as research, writing and reviews. Here's where you create the framework of your report, which normally would have a title, summary, TOC, intro, methodology, findings, analysis, recommendation and appendices.

STEP 3 Research and analyse
List out all the topics on which you will need to collect information. Understand all the measurement and targets that you will use. Interpret data, identify trends, and make sense of all the information you have.

STEP 4 Write the first draft
Insert any illustration, diagram, charts and tables where necessary. Since generally reports need to be presented before anyone reads them, determine whether the report needs to be presented in slides (MS PPT) on top of the written report document. If yes, the first draft would be the slides. Focus on this first. Once this is reviewed and finalized, all you need to do when writing the document is just expand the analysis and recommendations.

STEP 5 Revise
Reports can take as many as 4 to 8 revisions. while revising, ask yourself these questions, for starters:

does it serve the purpose?
is the info accurate and sufficient?
is your measurement logical and correct?

STEP 6 Package it
Make sure the report looks professional and impressive.

STEP 7 Present
Cover the key points and remember to use the language that fits the expectations of your audience.

ENJOY THE PROCESS!

What do you say?

2007-12-17T16:14:00.001+08:00

Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There’s nothing like love to pull you up,
When you’re laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Walk with me, walk with me...
Like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say?

Don’t know much about your life
And I don’t know much about your world...

Are you a fox or a hedgehog?

2007-12-08T13:28:00.000+08:00

Isaiah Berlin wrote about how the world can be divided into hedgehogs and foxes, based upon an ancient Greek parable: "the fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing."

The fox is a cunning creature, able to devise a myriad of complex strategies for sneak attacks upon the hedgehog. Every day, the fox circles around the hedgehog's den, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. The fox waits in cunning silence at the juncture in the trail. The hedgehog, minding his own business, wanders right into the path of the fox.

"Aha, I've got you now!" thinks the fox. He leaps out, bounding across the ground, lightning fast. The hedgehog, sensing danger, looks up and thinks, "Here we go again. Will he ever learn?" Rolling up in to a tight little ball, the hedgehog becomes a sphere of sharp spikes, pointing outward in all directions. The fox, sees the hedgehog defense and calls off the attack. Retreating back to the forest, the fox begins to calculate a new line of attack. Each day, some version of this battle between the hedgehog and the fox takes place, and despite the greater cunning of the fox, the hedgehog always wins.

Berlin extrapolated to divide people into two basic groups; foxes and hedgehogs. Foxes pursue many ends at the same time and see the world in all its complexity . Compared to the foxes' 'scatteredness' or diffused way of moving on many levels and not integrating their thinking into one overall concept of unifying vision, hedgehogs reduces all dilemmas and challenges to simple (or even almost simplistic) hedgehog ideas. For a hedgehog, anything that does not somehow relate to the hedgehog idea holds no relevance.

I'm ok with the underlying logic behind this story. However, to just be a hedgehog all the time? I'm not so sure. And I'm thinking -
maybe,
not everything is so black and white.
maybe,
the best way is to use what works for each case while at the same time maintaining one core intention or principle that I'll always maintain my integrity in solving what I need to solve.

and maybe, just maybe -
I, too, have the potential to be great.

'Happy' overload

2007-11-28T15:25:00.000+08:00

One is married. The other, single. One is approaching mid-30s. The other, in the early 20s. One loves the other a lot. The other, we believe, is in denial. They have slept with each other a couple of times; the first time was accidental, and the second, more intentional than we all may think. When they turn on their lovely-dovey mushiness (baby talk from one, nipple-tweaking - also from the same one) I feel like scooping out my insides with a spoon. Sometimes I would listen to happy moments shared. Other times, I'd be privy to hurtful words and moments of despair. I suppose this is part of the life of a member of a certain fitness gymnasium where these two, among many others, are welcomed, admired and feel comforted.

I guess Hallmark channel got it right with their tagline of "Life is Drama". Right now, I can do without these ones...

Moving forward

2007-11-28T15:16:00.000+08:00

Yes, me and BB have parted ways. It's time to move on :-)

And the frenzy begins

2007-10-20T00:29:00.000+08:00

Rehearsals have already begun. I'll be joining them full force from Oct 25th onwards. I'm looking forward to this. Ive been writing notes of the stuff I remember and also from what I've learned from my good friends in other stage productions. I want to put them here too, so that I remember once and for all where my notes are.

If you're assigned the role of stage manager for a play, here's a guide to help you prepare for the part:

Preparing for Rehearsals

Get a copy of the script. Read it for the plot and to understand what happens to the characters on stage and off.
Read the script again and note the entrances and exits for each character and what characters are in each scene. It's called a scene breakdown or "cast-scene breakdown" of the play.
Read the script once more and list on a separate sheet of paper all the props, costumes, lighting and sound effects referred to in the script.
Visit the rehearsal space and get to know it. You may be required to mark on the floor using masking tape to indicate parts of the set and entrances/exits. Make a list of any supplies you may need during rehearsals. The actors and the director will rely on you to make the rehearsal space a pleasant place to work.
Make a "prompt script." There are several methods but all involve cutting and pasting individual pages of the script onto loose leaf paper. Use a glue stick, tape or photocopy the pages. When you are making your prompt script, give yourself plenty of margin space and leave the facing page blank for blocking notes. The blank page should be on the right for right-handed stage managers and on the left for left-handed stage managers. If the book is arranged this way, you won't have to put your arm over the text to write the blocking notes. Reserve one clear margin for marking your cues.
Always write your blocking notes and cues in pencil, as there will be changes.

Things a Stage Manager needs to have at Rehearsals:

pens & pencils
masking tape
Swiss Army Knife
pencil sharpener
post-it notes
stop watch
eraser
magic markers
clear plastic ruler
an extra script
colour cloth tape
measuring tape
watch

Recording the Blocking:

Stage Manager is the place to go for information about the rehearsal hall, lines, blocking and the day to day schedule of rehearsals. Throughout the rehearsal process, it's the stage manager's job to take note of every move each actor makes while on stage. For example, Your blocking notes can be as simple as "Alice X DR" - the character Alice crosses to Down stage Right. Whatever you record should be understandable to you. It's important that you keep your markings consistent to avoid confusion.

Stage Areas

UR - Up Stage Right
UC - Up Stage Centre
UL - Up Stage Left
R - Stage Right
C - Centre stage
L - Stage Left
DR - Down Stage Right
DC - Down Stage Centre
DL - Down Stage Left

Spiking the Floor

During rehearsal, the position of all pieces of furniture or movable set pieces are "spiked" by marking the places where they sit with pieces of cloth or masking tape on the rehearsal hall floor. When you move into the theatre, these spike marks must be transferred to the stage.

Prompting

"To be or not… LINE" This is a good indication that an actor has forgotten their line. Part of the Stage Manager's job is also to prompt the actors. In most cases the actor will ask for help with the standard method being to ask for "Line." In rehearsals, try to be aware of incredibly long pauses by actors. If you're not sure, wait until they ask. Use your best judgement when an actor jumps text. If the missed text is essential to the plot, the actor will eventually realize their mistake and want to go back anyway. Be confident when you prompt. Give the line loudly and clearly, in your natural accent. In a large theatre or rehearsal hall, you will need to project your voice just as an actor does.

Just writing these down is exhausting me already.... *LOL*

Fowl matters

2007-10-15T12:59:00.001+08:00

Spending the Eid break in the family home in the east coast this year. I'm being very helpful, doing my duties as prep cook. I take care of peeling the onions, veggies, mashing things up in the blender where necessary, preparing the dough for the cakes and cookies and taking care of the garnishings, on top of the normal kitchen duties. All this for the rendang, acar and nasi dagang. I take a few showers a day since I smell like a blender myself.

The last time I smelled like a kitchen was more than 10 years ago, when I helped out my college friends run their chicken rice stall. It was one of those student projects for Convocation week in the uni, and my enterprising friends decided to make a bit of pocket money with the aid of their mom's recipe. I can't remember how I ended up helping them, but I remember enjoying myself helping out. I was responsible to clean the plucked chickens, cut them up into 8 before marinading and frying them. In addition to smelling like chickens, my hands were also scratched from the splintered chicken bones. I must have handled hundreds of birds over the weekend. I couldnt eat chicken rice for ages after that. After the fair ended, my friends invited me and all the other helpers to join them for an appreciation dinner.

No, they didnt serve chicken rice :-)

"...with 24-hour Bahasa Malaysia subtitles"

2007-10-15T11:33:00.000+08:00

Channel-surfing brought me to the multiple advertisements of the upcoming movies planned on the holy trinity of HBO, Cinemax and Star Movies. The clicker, apparently, is the added benefit of 24-hour Bahasa Malaysia subtitles. Is it really an added value to the customers to read these?

Channel: 52 (NatGeo). Program: Alexander the Great - The Man.

Narration: Alexander's army was outnumbered by the Persians.

Subtitle: Tentera Iskandar lebih ramai dari tentera musuh.

Meaning of subtitle: Alexander's army outnumbered the Persians

Narration: Alexander's army was outnumbered more than 3 to 1.

Subtitle: Tentera Iskandar 3 kali lebih ramai.

Meaning of subtitle: Alexander's army outnumbered the Persians 3:1

Narration: Alexander's erratic behaviour...

Subtitle: Sikap erotik Iskandar....

Meaning of subtitle: Iskandar's erotic attitude / behaviour...

AIYOH!

Is it really a good idea to market the subtitles as an added value to the viewers then? A lot of the subtitles are misleading and in the case of the documentary above, factually incorrect. One of my friends who worked in the establishment that provides these round-the-clock multi-channel entertainment told me once a long time ago that the team who are responsible for subtitling programs were among the lowest-paid ones. I dont know how much this has changed after 10 years. He told me that when I highlighted this to him and asked if I could go in and do this work.

How about offering documentaries to schools as language project? Familiarizing the students with both languages by getting them to come up with the subtitles. It could be a pilot project thing, using a few of the 'Best of' programs for instance - the ones that have been aired. It could be one more way to make education more multi-media and interactive, as language is a world that needs to be experienced. How many of us have learned a foreign language and, armed with our phrase books, get confunded by how different the language is spoken in real life, outside of the clasroom? Sure, we can say to ourselves now that we dont give a rat's ass about the subtitles. Who reads them anyway, right? Well, there are people who read them. And currently, there's a risk that someone out there, after watching the documentary about Alexander the Great, is thinking that his greatness is no big deal. His army outnumbered the enemies - of course he would win, right?

AIYOH...

Dream destination

2007-10-03T16:08:00.000+08:00

Who would have thought I'd find my dream destination in the Sep 10 edition of Newsweek?

At first glance, the pristine blue-green waters looked like Mauritius or Bora Bora. Upon reading I found out that it's Zanzibar. Zanzibar is actually the name of a group of tropical Indian Ocean islands just east of Tanzania. Pemba and Unguja are the two main islands. Unguja is the largest island and is commonly referred to as Zanzibar.

I found two lovely options for this island. One is Matemwe Bungalows (matemwe.com) - the lodge that features a porch with huge hammocks and a sumptious bath. For those who need to make contact with the outside world, they offer internet and telephone/fax facilities; television still hasn't made it to paradise. That sounds good to me.

Low season is from early Jan to end of March, the whole month of June and Sept to Dec 20. At 230 USD per person per night sharing, that's something to work towards.

High season's during New Years July-Aug and Xmas week.

Visitors are recomended to set aside an afternoon to get lost in the city of Stone Town's labyrinth of whitewashed houses, bazaars and courtyards. I'm excited already at the prospect of viewing the architechture, based on the island's Persian and European influences.

The second option that I discovered was Zamani Zanzibar Kempinski. I've stayed at the Kempinski in Munich and Beijing, and they've always felt very metropolitan and urban to me. A little bit lab-like environment, even - them being entrenched in German processes and efficiency. SoI'm a little surprised to know that there's a Kempinski in Zanzibar. I wonder if it's as efficient as their other hotels.

They've got this celebration package from USD 1192.00 for double occupancy in a Garden room double. This package include:

Four nights accommodation + Full buffet breakfast,
Round-trip airport transfers,
One bottle of champagne upon arrival,
Aromatherapy massage for two,
A private candlelight dinner for two,
A shopping and sunset dhow cruise.

A quick search on kayak.com showed direct flights on Kenya airways from Bangkok from about 2000 USD. Whoa. Maybe I'll stick to the luscious islands of my hometown state of Terengganu.

Meanwhile, here's an interesting factoid: Freddie Mercury, lead singer of the rock group Queen, was born in Zanzibar. He was originally named Faroukh Bulsara, and his father, Bomi Bulsara, was an Indian-born accountant who worked for the British Colonial Office in Stone Town.

Star Wars episode 1?

2007-10-03T10:37:00.000+08:00

In her living room, relaxing after supper -

He: Why not? What makes you think it won't work for us?
She: My insecurity I guess - in 10 years' time, you'll be just entering your prime years, not even 40 yet - and I'll already be a dried up old prune in my mid-40s
He: You're still using that I'm-too-young-for-you card? I cant believe this...
She: Baby, it's the only card I have!
He: Let's not think too far into the future then. 10 years IS a long time, you know. We might not even be around then...
She: Part of me says yes, live now, carpe diem; but part of me says what's the purpose of me being with someone who doesnt want to be with me in the long term? What if I get hurt? What if I cant get better after you go? I want to let go, I want to love - but I dont feel happy investing that in someone who's clear about only wanting to be with me for a short term!
He: Well at least I'm being honest, aren't I?
She: True enough...
He: You think too much. You know that right?
She: And how is that a problem?
He: It stops you from living life NOW!
She: What do you want me to do then?
He: What do YOU want to do?
She: I want to be with you. Love you. Be happy.
He: I want to be with you too - love you, and be happy with you. But we really dont know what's going to happen in the future, do we? I can't say 'let's be together forever' just blindly like that...
She: Where else has this worked, then? Tell me.
He: (concentrates on finding the answer)
She: (raises her eyebrows in a silent question)
He: I know!
She: Ok, tell me.
He: Queen Amidala and Anakin Skywalker!
She: (finding it difficult to stop the corners of the mouth to cease twitching in amusement)
He: It worked there, didn't it?
She: Yah - right up until he becomes the most ruthless icon of the dark side and ends up in a refrigerator suit and she dies while giving birth to their 2 kids...
He: You pessimist!

They hug. The issue is settled - for the time being...

Aikido test

2007-09-18T21:50:00.001+08:00

Master Sullivan's dojo in Kuching. Our exam is coming up soon too...! *gasp*

Sentimentality overload

2007-09-18T21:14:00.001+08:00

Any perceived mushiness in any personal relationships aside -

Is it just me, or has there been a lot of sentimental advertisements on TV nowadays? It came on full force during the Merdeka month, if I remember correctly. I got used to and expected material from the usual suspects like the national petroleum company, the second national car producer and one or two telco companies; what surprised me was suddenly there was an onslaught of mushy advertisements from several finance services / insurance companies capturing images of senior and youthful citizens going around on foot or on by bus, smiling wistfully at the sky and elevated highways and helping old ladies cross the road while shielding them with their umbrellas. I remember being moved by the deep message that I got when watching these sentimental advertisements years ago. This year, however, I just dont get it. What I want to know is if the sentimental bandwagon is a big one - it'd be good to know how long will this sentimentality overload last. I long for fun and funny advertisements to return! Bungee-jump to get packets of Twisties or something - anything!

Who's the lucky one?

2007-09-18T18:00:00.000+08:00

Saw BB late last night - hung out at his place for a couple of hours. He told me that he's the lucky one for meeting me! Awww.....

What a month so far

2007-09-10T23:42:00.000+08:00

A bit on the news prior to this post: we all dont think she's preggers. I personally think she's insane, but I dont tell them that.

The wheels are in motion now for Yugen Ideas - things are moving. Not as fast as I think it should be, but it's moving in the direction that I like it to be.

I still see BB occasionally - what with our differing work schedule and all; he's lucky I'm more nocturnal than I say I am. By the time we see each other (if and when we do) it's after midnight and I'd be groggy and after his greeting of "What - no kiss?" the only thing suitable to say to him would be "Baby, I'd love to get that shirt off you" Hee hee hee...

Body's still aching. Grading time for 6th kyu is near - very near....

Salsa, Boy-boy and light sabers

2007-08-15T04:16:00.000+08:00

No Salsa classes for the current week or two (it's Salsa, not Nausea, anyway).

BB is having his exams now, and I'm happy that his first paper on Monday was all right. He's not too thrilled about today's paper, the system engineering one - but when I told him that going through the exam is better than being dead, he stopped complaining (he he he) Unfortunately, it works both ways - he wont let me say anything about being middle-aged to his youthful 24 - he just uses my retort and reminds me that hey, I'm alive! Smart aleck.

So far, it has not been a one night stand (who has the energy to stand for the whole night, you tell me?) and interestingly, some of his friends are treating me like an Agony Aunt of sorts. One has an issue with an ex-girlfriend, who's calling and texting him with updates on an early pregnancy that she is so confident was caused by a certain activity that they both indulged in, a week after they broke up. Apparently, my "they have phone help lines and counseling services for these" didnt stop him from telling me how much sleep he's losing over this issue. He's totally confident that the baby's not his (a certain Michael Jackson song is playing at the back of my mind - is it Billie Jean?) and since a planned trip to a clinic for a D&C appointment did not happen, the boy's freaking out. She's threatening to tell her mom, his mom, his grandma, and face it - txt messages that read "congratulations, u r still a dad" are creepy to me. When he asked her what she wanted from him (marriage, money, a hold-her-hand while she's at the clinic, another romp in the hay) she couldnt answer. He asked for suggestions and mine were:

Ignore her for 12 hours. Leave the phone calls unanswered, messages unreturned
Ignore her for another 12 hours. See how that goes
Call her bluff. It's time to step up as a man and be very firm with his belief that it's not his, if he truly is 100% confident about it. Face the family. Ask for support. Blood CAN be thicker than water.

If no resolution is in sight still, I suppose I can offer to them my wire hanger-wielding skills. At least that would prompt SOME action. Last that I heard, he told me that she told him that she needs now to check with HER ex (no, I didnt check for the order of appearance of the cast members) before she makes another appointment at the baby clinic.

Moral of the story? Use condoms.

But seriously, folks -

I struggle to fight the urge to put my hands into this mess of a vindaloo. I honestly feel like going to the girl and just taking her to get a proper check-up and then getting her view of this. Find out her map of her territory. What's the situation now, what she feels about this, what she wants to do, how she wants to do it. Even if she really is the befuddled airhead that she's being made out to appear, there's still a tiny little life growing in her belly and that life needs to be considered. Get her to see what will be in store for her future should she decide to keep the baby (my earlier suspicion was that she was not even pregnant) . I want her to see how having a baby now and raising this child will impact her life, her daily activities. Then I will get her to decide what to do.

But why is this keeping me awake on this Wednesday morning? It's because children are such gifts - I have friends who have done everything they could to have their own bundle of joy, but no success. My heart breaks for the baby's soul everytime a tiny lifeless body is found abandoned in bathrooms or in the trash (what an outrage!) and also for the young mum, who in her time of need, felt that she had no one to turn to. To feel most alone during this time is not an envied feeling. That's why I told the friend to go back to the family. Call her bluff. Create your support system. Growing old is compulsory (many would object, naturally) but growing up is optional. Muzukashi, neh? Difficult, but a necessary step to take, this growing up. Decisions need to be made. It's not about just one person, or even two (the young man and woman) - this decision now involves a tiny little soul.

Children - so precious. I know my brother watches his daughters sleep so that he can remember how peaceful they are while they are sleeping and how fiercely he feels that his responsibility as a father is to ensure that his children get the best things in life.

If all else fails, I'll still have my wire clothes-hanger. I'll wield THAT like a light saber and scare them into making a wise decision!

Where exactly does it hurt?

2007-08-15T04:12:00.000+08:00

I can tell you where and when exactly does Chemotherapy hurt you.

Where: all over your insides, especially the bad parts that the poisonous drug is supposed to target and kill, kill, kill.

When exactly does Chemotherapy hurt you?

When the freezing drug is about to enter your blood vessel,
When you're throwing up bile

But folks, it sure beats being dead.

Cycling home

2007-07-24T13:01:00.001+08:00

While having lunch just now, I chanced upon yesterday's newspaper. One news item caught my eye - about a young man who graduated from university and is riding his bicycle home. Pretty normal, one might think, until you explore the article to find out that he graduated from Duke University in North Carolina and and he's cycling home to Taiping from USA. He pedalled off from Los Angeles, reaching Washington DC in 38 days, covering a distance of 5,625km. He started his European leg early this week, with about 15,000 km to go. He gets to hop on and off airplanes, of course, since he cant pedal his way across the oceans.

His journey reminds me of a book that I read last 2 years: the Memory of Running by Ron McLarty. Smithson 'Smithy' Ide is a 279-pound, hard-drinking, chain-smoking, 43-year-old misfit who works in a G.I. Joe factory putting arms and legs on the action heroes. After his parents died in a car accident, Smithy finds a letter to his father about Bethany, his sister, stating that, "Bethany Ide, 51, died from complications of exposure... and she has since that time been in the Los Angeles Morgue West." Bethany, given to taking off her clothes in public places, holding impossible poses for long periods of time, responding to voices that only she can hear, and disappearing for no known reason.

When he reads the letter, he is drunk and alone. He goes out to the garage to smoke and have another drink and spies his old Raleigh bicycle. He sits on it, wheels it to the end of the driveway and started pedaling. He ended up cycling across the country from Long Island all the way to California. On the road he meets the good, the bad, and the really bad. He frequently calls Norma, the Ides' neighbour, confined to a wheelchair for years.

Nothing I say can do justice to this book. It's a simple story, told with simple words, yet the author managed to paint the picture of Smithy's trip and I could see all the colors, feel what the people in those stories were feeling. It's not a sappy story, eventhough I did shed some tears reading it (but then that's just me - I can weep just from watching some TV commercials LOL). Far from it - it's about unconditional love that travels across thousands of miles through the telephone line and the strength that it brings. It's about fun stuff too, and how life is made up of all sorts of experience and stories.

I highly recommend it. Great for vacations or even for that afternoon at home.

Oh ya - to find out more about young Law's cycle home, go to http://www.crazyguyonabike.com/doc/longwayhome

That deathly hallows book

2007-07-24T08:38:00.000+08:00

Got it. Spent half the weekend with it. Finished it. Not too crazy about some of the parts in the middle. Got caught up in the excitement near the end.

One newspaper report kind of sums it up for me: "when was the last time we were excited about a book?"

To prepare for the final book, I read book 6 again. By the time I finished, the momentum was there and my journey into book 7 began nicely. Took it along to Gaby's house for dinner (with Evie and a few others) and it kept me company while they played mahjong. Continued after arriving home at midnight and finished it about 2 hours later.

What a story.

The water slide is here

2007-07-24T08:11:00.000+08:00

Y mailed me photos of our Rawa Island vacation. I'm already thinking of my next trip there...

Here's my fav spot to read and relax.

Watching the sunset with a cold drink - the best thing to do there.

The water slide - favored by kids and adults alike!

Recharged, rested, browned ;-)

2007-07-13T13:13:00.000+08:00

I finally went on a short vacation. Every year, me and Y, my college buddy, would go on our Cuti Cuti Malysia trip. She's a snorkeling fanatic, and learning diving as well. As for me, I'm just happy to tag along and enjoy quiet times by the beach where I'd be going through the same routine cheerfully:

before leaving the room / hut / chalet, I'd slather sunblock / tanning oil (depending on whether I feel like I want to marinade myself with cream or oil
pack my canvas tote with my book(s), sunblock, tanning oil, mineral water, small change (for ice cream yum yum), shades (not the Combat head teacher, but my sunglasses hehe), notepad / journal, beach towel or face towel
find my spot on the beach and make myself comfortable on the sand or on the deck chair
wave to Y occasionally when she sees that I'm out already
take a dip in the sea
come back and return to my reading / writing / snoozing
repeat steps 4 to 6 as often as I like

What I didnt know about Rawa Island is the fact that it looks exactly like the pictures. Many times I have seen places that made me think "which angle did the photographer take the photo from?" because they have no resemblance WHATSOEVER to the brochure pictures promoting the place.

The water was clear and the beach was clean. We could snorkel right in front of the beach, much to Y's delight. We started our journey at about 7:00 am and we drove down to Mersing. The boat ride took about 35 mins and I was relieved to find the island jetty to be of the higher version, where I wont have to wade towards reception with my knapsack in tow (I was prepared for that, anywho). Walking along the jetty, I saw how the jetty's function was expanded: there was a water slide built into the jetty infrastructure. There were already kids screaming in delight when we arrived. Did I mention that the water was so clear we could see the corals and the fish swimming about when we look down from the jetty?

In the evenings, after dinner, I'd walk along the jetty. I'd look up and see the stars and recgnize one or two constellations. Even though I have very short hair, I could still feel the breeze ruffling them. Looking out, I could see yellow and white lights from other islands and fishing boats blinking in the distance. The guy who takes care of the sea sports hut told us that if the water's cool enough, black-tipped sharks would swim up right until the spot where the water slide is. I didnt see it when I was there even though I kept a lookout for the 2-metre fish.

I definitely will return to Rawa Island. I promise.

Images courtesy of rawasfr.com

Istanbul, 1999

2007-06-23T10:18:00.000+08:00

I watched a travel channel documentary last week about Istanbul. It reminded me of my own visit there in 1999. It was another work assignment, and I was there for a couple of weeks. The first time ever a job took me out of the home country. The images are blurry in my mind now, but the feelings come back sometimes. Visiting the Spice Bazaar just across the road from the Bosphorus river, enjoying pistachio ice cream in front of Topkapi Palace, haggling for scarves and lace tablecloths at the weekend market. Walking along the cobblestone lanes of Atakoy. It was winter, and the sun set at about 4:30pm every day; which was fine with me as it was Ramadan when we were there, working on the new Ataturk international terminal project. Our site office was located there, and every evening we would join the airport staff in the cafeteria for Iftar before returning back to our hotel or flat.

The funny thing to me was how we were perceived by a few of our Turkish colleagues. Some of them ridiculed our choice to observe prayers and fasting, calling us 'ridiculous' for praying and fasting. One young woman, I remember, actually came up to me and asked me "Dont tell me you actually do *those* things?" Having been forewarned by a senior colleague that had been there earlier, I responded just with a small smile. I found out that she and her friends had come from the richer families and eventhough they proudly claimed themselves to subscribe to religion, they associated themselves more with the secular way of life. They even told me that "only poor people pray and fast here" while puffing away at their special Turkish blend non-flitered Camels.

As much as they made their statements clear, I also made it clear that I was there to work; and my job was to ensure that the system administrators went through the training meant for them and the selected trainers were adequately instructed to conduct end-user training courses. I did feel rather intimidated by them at first, with their rather aggressive style of communication. I just stuck to the bottom line: it's fine if they, at the last minute, decide to not show up for their training. I showed them the draft of my report that our training was scheduled, trainer & equipment were ready - it was their choice to disobey instructions and not attend. I didnt wait for them; I had proceeded with training the trainers for the end-users. Them towering over me made me feel a bit nervous. But hey - I may be short, but I still ran the show. Things went well in the end, and I was glad to return home after my assignment.

Perhaps the colleagues that I experienced was just a tiny slice of the people there. I'm not sure. For a few years I decided not to plan any vacations to Istanbul. But I suppose the ice around my heart have melted a bit too. I am actually thinking of returning there. There's something about that city that appealed to me, appeals to me still.

- Image courtesy of gnarlydorkette's blog -

Sunday Bloody Sunday

2007-06-19T12:43:00.000+08:00

Of course it wasnt a bloody Sunday; I was just referring to the U2 song :-)

After many weekends working on materials for upcoming training sessions, I decided to take last Sunday off from my normal schedule and treat myself to a homing Sunday. It started off in a pretty normal way - me waking up to make a steaming mug of NESLO (yummy yummy) and then snuggling back under the bedcovers with a book. This lasted for half an hour. My mind wandered off to the living room, going through my furniture layout. I had visited Cavenzi a couple of weekends back and the dining room set that was displayed there really caught my eye. Before I knew it, I was out in the living room, rearranging my furniture. Now the TV rack is moved to another side of the wall and funnily enough, I found out that I could get all my subscribed satelite TV channels from this new position! Now, isnt that interesting?

That discovery pretty much influenced my decision on what to do for the rest of the day. I watched a few movies and discovered several interesting stuff:

In The Bodyguard (Cinemax), the actor who played the assassin who was hired to kill Whitney Houston's character in the movie, Tomas Arana, was the same guy who played Quintus, head of Caesar's Pretorian guards in the Russel Crowe vehicle Gladiator. Arana also played the renegade crew member of Red October, in the Alec Baldwin-Sean Connery hit, The Hunt for red October. Arana played the cook who sabotaged the nuclear sub (and shot Sam Neil 'I've always wanted to see Montana')'s character.
The actress who played Carmen's mum in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Star Movies) was the same actress who played Melina, Arnold Schwartzenegger's love interest in the 1990 movie Total Recall. If she looks familiar to you, it's probably because you saw her also in Nic Cage's Con-Air. She played security guard Sally Bishop in that movie. BTW, Ugly Betty's America Ferrera played the role of Carmen in the Sisterhood movie.
In one of Midsomer Murders' episodes (Electric Vendetta), the actor who played Lloyd Kirby looked so familiar. Then I remembered where I had seen him. He played one of the Imperial Officers in 2 of the Star Wars movies (episode V and VI). According to my trusty source, IMDB, he's the only actor to play an Imperial officer in more than one Star Wars film (not including the extras, naturally). I suppose that's understandable, considering the fact that other Imperial officers were killed off in battle with the rebel alliance or killed by Darth Vader within 2 minutes of screen time.

I guess it was a bloody Sunday after all. A bloody good Sunday! :-D

What a month so far!

2007-06-16T10:39:00.000+08:00

It's been hectic. Some of the times it's been fun, some of the times, it just sucks. One fun time was the Line Dance party at OUG club on June 9, courtesy of our instructor, Bernard Lim. At our FF The Curve table was Shelli, me, Aurelius, Wai N, Nelly and Evie. In the photo below, we were still freah cos we just arrived.After that we were joined by Gabby, Zainal (who was dressed in white like his friends from FF Maxis on the table next to ours) and Eddie. Bernard stepped on to the Ballroom stage and welcomed everyone soon after that. We started off with a couplle of familiar songs, and it was good to see almost everyone on the ballroom floor, dancing. Bernard started each song with a quick recap of the steps, and by 8pm the food arrived. We took a break to enjoy dinner and each others' company. Throughout the evening, there were lucky draws (Nelly got a bottle of Vitamin C, I think) and here we are, in a photo with Bernard. From left - Nelly, Wai N, Zainal, me, Bernard, Evie, Shelli, Aurelius and Gabby.

We all had a lot of fun. We car-pooled on the way to OUG Club and back (yeh, very environmental friendly) and there were members from FF gyms + 1 or 2 other gyms. That black tee that Bernard's wearing the photo was designed by members of FF Axis. The whole gang wore the tees. Bright colors on black, with the words 'Line dance funk' under the logo. There were a couple of tables full of members of another FF gym, next to us, who really came over in full force. I remember one of them kept on taking his shirt off. It started with the unbuttoned shirt in the middle of the evening, and ended with the emergence of the hairless chest at the end of the party.

There were mini 'competitions' of who could do the loudest and the longest 'yaaaaaaaaaaaa.... mmmmmm.......SEENG!!!!!' between a table near us and another accross the room. There were also table screams, prompted by the MC (an FF member) who made us (DO WE HAVE REPRESENTATIVES FROM FF THE CURVE???) shout twice because to her we sounded like we didnt eat rice for 300 days (ok she didnt say that, that was my interpretation heh heh) While we did our best to mime ourselves shouting (I think FF Axis tables shouted on our behalf - a lot of howling and shouting that night lah). A couple of more shouts and antics would have reminded me of a school dinner or gathering back in 1989 :-> I was grateful that she didnt ask for howls from the FF Manulife, because I know for a fact that only 2 people represented that club. We'd have to hope for assistance from Axis tables again for them, I suppose.

She helped Bernard with the emceeing and she was extremely handy during the lucky draw segments. Her running commentary on the big prizes and the grand prize (kisses from Bernard to spending a night with him, 'in any position you like') plus her juicy remarks on guys coming up to receive their gifts all wet and slick and a host of other remarks made me and Shelli reminisce of similar dinners with Joanne Kam Po Po.

We closed the line dance funk party with Hellogoodbye's 'Here in Your Arms', a definite FF Curve favorite. We left after midnight, sweaty and happy, and kudos for Bernard for hosting such a fun evening :-D

Cantankerous no more

2007-06-04T16:55:00.000+08:00

I've changed. Still changing, in fact. One thing for sure, I'm not broken any more now. I'm healing. In a lot of areas, I'm already healed. I'm now more focused on what I want, instead of being focused on what I dont want. I see the world differently now. For the first time I believe and I see that opportunities are abundant.

A major part of my healing came from the release of limiting decisions and major negative emotions like unwarranted anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt. This means I am cured from being cantankerous and tormenting. I have released the need to justify shoestring budgets and limitations. I finally learn what it means to want something, especially something good and great for me. With my hat full of stars, I am cantankerous no more.

For those who havent heard the song 'Hat Full of Stars' by Cyndi Lauper, it is worth a listen. I love the whole album. To me, it felt like I was sitting with a good girlfriend and she's sharing with me her precious stories, thoughts and experiences. I graduated from cassette to audio cd and mp3 for this album; something that I can only say about 4-5 other albums since 1990.

The lyrics are below. Enjoy ;-)

Hat Full of Stars: Cyndi Lauper
I was folding up your letters
Unpacking winter clothes
Searching for my hat
I thought I left it by the door
So I tore around the room
Like a bird without a head
I saw your picture waving back at me
From underneath the bed
From a long, long time ago

When all I had
Was a hat full of stars
The one I'll always treasure
The one that you wore
You loved the look
But you never looked inside
You would have seen us there
You could've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars

I'm trying to live in the present
But I keep tripping on the past
Finding out reality, well
Clarity Comes in dribs and drabs
No we never had the time
For everything we had
So it felt like we had nothing
That's what makes this hat so sad
It was a long, long time ago

When all we had
Was a hat full of stars...
...You would have seen us there
You could've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars

Now whenever I'm alone
And I think I might forget
I wear my lucky hat
Just like a crown up on my head -
'Cause all I have
Is a hat full of stars...
If you could see me now
You would've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars...

You can make good connections!

2007-06-02T10:02:00.000+08:00

Would you like to establish instant rapport? Firstly, here's what I learned about rapport in my NLP Practitioner training. Rapport is when the people you talk to accept your suggestions unquestioningly.

So, how much would learning about establishing instant rapport be relevant to you?
:-)

I subscribe to Jamie Smart's NLP coaching tip, which I find extremely helpful for me as I continue to view the world through my new eyes. I extract the tip and do continue reading to find out more. See you again before the end of this post, after you finish reading his tip.

ENJOY!

*******************
How to establish instant rapport through language
From Jamie Smart, Director of Training (May 31, 2007)

...Several years ago, I was doing some executive coaching for a large multinational, & I was due to meet with the sales director & one of his managers. I stopped by to have a word with the manager prior to the meeting, who warned me not to mention the sales figures. He explained that the numbers had been very low; that the director had been in a bad mood all day, & would go mad if I mentioned the figures.

When the manager & I walked into the director's office, the first words out of my mouth were "Hi, I hear the sales figures sucked this month." The manager cringed, waiting for the inevitable explosion, but the director just laughed, shook my hand & said "Yeah, but it's time to move on." We immediately got down to business& had a successful meeting, with no further mention of the dreaded sales number.

Meet them at their map of the world

You begin to establish rapport when you meet someone at their 'map of the world'. As humans, we have a natural tendency to get "in-sync" with one another over time, but it's possible to speed the process up dramatically.

Our brains contain "mirror neurons" that help us understand how another person is feeling, make predictions about what they're going to do next, & learn through imitation. We can use our neural heritage to make guesses about what the other person is thinking & feeling.

Next time you have a chat or meet with a person, ask yourself "What's it like to be them right now?" Make a guess about what the other person is thinking & feeling. If appropriate, acknowledge it in your language. The statement you make can range from the specific to the general.

For instance:
. In the case of the sales director, where I had specific information about his likely focus of attention, saying "Hi, I hear the sales figures sucked this month" was a very specific way of saying to him "I understand what you're feeling".

· To a policeman I was chatting to in Dublin last weekend who said that he thought NLP was a load of nonsense, I said "When people are sceptical about this stuff, I usually tell them that they're right to be sceptical. After all, until you've experienced just how powerful this can be for you in your own life, why would you have any reason to be otherwise?" Suddenly he became curious & asked to see the cards I was showing someone else. (If you recognise this sentence from a previous tip, it's because I've started to use this as a 'stock response' whenever someone expresses scepticism about NLP.)

· In the case of a group of 500 teenagers I spoke to last year, I said "Hi guys. It's Monday morning, and we're all here at assembly, and you've all come here for a reason, so as you sit here listening to me, you may be wondering 'What has this guy got to say that's going to be interesting & valuable to me & my life?' The majority of the group immediately became attentive & engaged.

It's worth noticing something about my actions in these three situations:

· In the case of the sales director, my statement was based on information received a few minutes earlier.

· In the case of the teenagers, I planned it out the day before the talk.

· In the case of the policeman, I responded in the moment to what he said (but I did use a stock phrase).

Prepare some 'stock responses' for situations that crop up regularly in your life.
Taking a few minutes to do this today can massively increase your speed & effectiveness in connecting with people.

Notice the response you get.
Of course! Whatever you do or say, notice the responses you get. People always respond, & when you're focusing your attention on them, you can get valuable information about the impact you're having.

Next time, we'll be looking at some other ways to get the kind of powerful rapport that paves the way for powerful coaching interactions (& powerful interactions of all sorts).

I'll also be unveiling a powerful new resources for people who want better coaching skills (I'm really excited about this one, & it's taking all my willpower not to tell you all about it this week!)

Have lots of fun connecting with people.

Best wishes

Jamie

Jamie Smart
director of training
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
********************************************
So guys, what do you think?

If you have questions you want to ask about NLP, drop me a mail. If you want to find out where you can learn NLP and become a certified practitioner, get in touch with Carsten by clicking here. This is the center where I successfully completed my Certification in NLP, Timeline Therapy, Hypnotherapy and Certified NLP Coach programs that I had started studying in middle of March this year. Carsten also conducts 2-hour previews about the NLP certified practitioner program where you can see what's in the training program. You can find out more about these previews on his website too. If you want to go and would like me to meet you there, get in touch with me to discuss schedules.

Now, if you like Jamie's tip I featured today and wish to learn more, subscribe to Jamie's tips by clicking on www.saladltd.co.uk/tip_signup.htm

In the meantime, ENJOY MAKING GOOD CONNECTIONS WITH PEOPLE! I'm grateful to have learnt this myself.

Upcoming project: Home Office

2007-05-28T15:04:00.000+08:00

Looks like the volume of my work is increasing and I need additional space for my one on one coaching. I will need a dedicated space for a home office now, and the only place that fits my requirement would be my current walk in wardrobe. I may need to move that to the third room. Major cleanup would be needed, and I will need to remove 2 cupboards from there. This would be interesting...

Weekends are for recharging the batteries :-)

2007-05-28T07:09:00.000+08:00

Time and time again I'm reminded of the importance of weekends. I had had a rather intensive weekend last 2 weeks; what with focusing on my certification for NLP coach and concentrating on 1 heavy duty report for my main business documents client. Last weekend, though, was just great. I spent most of Saturday at home, working on my Yugen Ideas website, taught myself FTP too. I got a little bit impatient with TV over the weekend, so I spent more time with my books. Sunday was spent looking for a signature piece for my living room i.e. a 6' TV cabinet. I also went to the gym with C and met up with R for lunch. I listened to my Timeline Therapy CDs and read my notes + textbook to prepare for this weekend's Timeline Therapist certification program and I enjoyed floating above my timeline. I felt like a plane. Today, I feel very relaxed and energetic. More ready to face what will come my way. Now I'm planning which Shrek meal toy to get from McDonalds :-)

I'm grateful for weekends!

Action!

2007-05-25T23:15:00.000+08:00

I was in a small party last night and I got a lot of questions about what I do. I basically work with people who are very frustrated (ya there are many, true, but then we are all merely human, right?) because they either cant come up with a solution for a problem that theyre dealing with for a long time, or they cant see their way out of a sticky problem, or all the solutions theyve implemented just are not working. I work with them to identify the source of their problem and together with them design an action plan that is guaranteed to work.

Based on NLP and Action Learning, I bring my clients to the outcome that they desire.

Here's a bit of info from the International Foundation of Action Learning:

Action learning involves working on real problems, focusing on learning and actually implementing solutions. It is a form of learning by doing.

Pioneered by Professor Reg Revans and developed worldwide over the last 35 years, it provides a well-tried method of accelerating learning which enables people to handle difficult situations more effectively.

Action learning is based on a radical concept: L = P + Q Learning requires Programmed knowledge (i.e. knowledge in current use) and Questioning insight. It also uses a small group to provide challenge and support: individuals learn best with and from one another as they each tackle their own problem and actually implement their own solution.

The process integrates: research (into what is obscure); learning (about what is unknown); and action (to resolve a problem) into a single activity and develops an attitude of questioning and reflection to help individuals and organisations change themselves in a rapidly changing world.

And I love it :-)

Yes, Prime Minister

2007-05-25T23:03:00.000+08:00

I'm a big fan of DVD box sets, starting from the time I received 'The Pretender' set for my birthday. When I'm at home, I watch my favorite stuff and among them are:

1. Black Adder series (esp seasons 2, 3)
2. The Thin Blue Line, also with Rowan Atkinson
3. Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister
4. Shogun
5. Peter Seller's Pink Panther movies

The only reason I keep my satelite TV channel is because of Midsomer Murders on Hallmark and BBC Entertainment.

Parts, integrated

2007-05-24T05:54:00.000+08:00

Have you experienced some sort of conflict inside you? If you have, it's very highly likely that you have got a part inside you, that is not congruent with your whole being. A part can be seen as a blockage or basically a segment that holds the problem; while the whole is your complete being. It's good to think that a whole is bigger than the sum of the parts. Because, once we eliminate conflict inside us, that problematic part will integrate with our whole being, resulting in congruence or inner harmony.

Now, look inside you. Is there a part inside you that believes sometimes that you are not good enough? Not smart enough? Not beautiful enough? Do you believe in this completely or do you have this belief as a conflict ie sometimes you believe that youre not good enough, but on the other hand, there are many instances where you know that youve achieved success ie that you ARE good enough. These 'on the other hand' situations reflect conflict.

And now, picture yourself, for one moment, being free from this conflict. You would be believing completely that you are good enough / loved enough / deserving enough of all the blessings that you have received every day of your beautiful life. How does the picture look to you? How do you feel? Once free from conflict and totally at peace with yourself, do you think you can achieve anything you want to do? YOU BET.

I know I did. I know I needed to eliminate conflict as much as know how much I was a conflicted being. But I was afraid to want it eliminated. To avoid disappointment when goals are not met, I dont set goals. I thought I did, but I didnt. When I studied Parts Integration in my NLP Certified Practitioner training, I went in whole-heartedly. I didnt think it was achievable - hell, I thought it was IMPOSSIBLE to eliminate conflict inside me. How could I free myself from this after 30 years? Wouldnt it take me the rest of my life to eliminate conflict? It took me around 20 minutes, actually. 20 minutes to work with a fellow practitioner and discover the highest intention of my problematic part, the highest intention of my harmonious whole, and the meaning of this intentions and what they would do for me. When I reached my breakthrough, I saw and felt the barrier dissolve. I saw inside me 2 identical me's, beneath the dissolving bubble. I expected the 'whole me' to pull my 'problematic part me' towards integration. What happened though, was something more beautiful. I saw the me that represented the problematic part reach out her hands towards the me that represented my integrated whole. I felt her reaching out for help. I felt the warmth and comfort when the two 'me's came together in one big hug. I felt so calm, at peace, welcomed and loved. By me.

I've started this journey to discover what I really want in life, setting the goals that will be harmonious internally, and achieving my potential. I'm really grateful to God for this awareness. :-)

First, Break All the Rules

2007-05-09T12:36:00.000+08:00

Choowie wrote about one of my favorite books in his post on the reasons why people leave their jobs. When I first read Marcus Buckingham's First, Break All the Rules, I was flummoxed. The things that I had gut feel about could be proven with facts and concrete examples. People leave their jobs mainly because of their supervisors. Go get the book - you may not agree with all the ideas in there, but there's enough thought in there to spark some interesting discussions and new awareness in the areas of satisfaction at the workplace, methinks.

Sunshine

2007-05-09T00:34:00.000+08:00

I won passes to watch Danny Boyle's movie, Sunshine. I gave the other 3 passes to Jennie, Chris and Ayu, and we met up in GSC 1U to watch the movie. After surrendering our mobile phones, we settled into our seats. There were some funny games and stuff, courtesy of the host, and then, before we knew it, the movie came on. Great CGIs. Stuff really needed to be seen on the big screen. The dying sun, the space shuttle Icarus 2, the oxygen garden. AND naturally, my hero, Hiroyuki Sanada (you'd need Quicktime to view that video there).

Even after so many weeks, some parts of the movie are still in my brain. The trip to the sun alone, took more than 18 months. In the movie, it wouldve taken the astronauts another 2 years or so for them to return to earth. Imagine that. A 4-year assignment where you'd be living with the same 7 people. Be with them, and only them, for 4 years. I'm not too wild about the movie, and I've been through the discussion topics on IMDB.com, lambasting the movie's Hollywoodization of the science of our sun and the rest of the solar system. To them I say this: there are a few instances in life where judgement, and up to a certain extent, reality, need to be suspended in order to enjoy the moment or to have some sense of reason behind actions. Hell, we go through this suspension of belief on a daily basis sometimes. Where, you might ask me? The workplace, for one. To make family relationships work, would be another instance. So I suspended my own personal judgement watching that movie. One poignant moment for me was when the Icarus crew arrived near Mercury. I figured if I were an astronaut, a botanist, a physicist or a pilot, and I was on a mission to save my planet, I too would be in awe watching Mercury orbiting the sun.

Interesting movie, and an absolutely interesting soundtrack.