How to successfully organize a social networking event for ’single, busy professionals’

um…er…how to (un)successfully organize the above, rather. Here are 5 ways.

ONE

Announce and market the event to the correct target group i.e. single, busy, professionals, get their payment, and then do nothing to whet their interest after they pay. Don’t find out what they’d like to see in a social networking get-together. Don’t even think of calling them for a nice chat to find out if they’d be shy or hesitant to join any particular activity or ‘party games’ and get their ideas on what kind of fun activities they’d feel happy about. God forbid if you’re thinking of asking them about their experience with similar socials, especially if it’s getting them to tell you about their experience in one or two that they may have thought of as lovely, or executed nicely. What do these people know about social networking anyway? You’re the experts, aren’t you?

TWO

Once the people arrive at the event you organize, make sure you get their business cards and other contact information, point them to the bar to get their complimentary watered-down beer, and then LEAVE THEM TO MINGLE ABOUT BY THEMSELVES. Don’t introduce people to each other, don’t offer small facts that may be interesting e.g. “I’d like to introduce you to so-and-so, who’s also in the sports apparel industry,”. Don’t walk around among those sorry lot for ‘how-do-you-dos’; other people might think you’re one of them. Oh and for goodness’ sake don’t help them – especially the ones who really look like they’re painfully shy and just stands there by the corner, by himself or herself. Focus instead on sitting together with your fellow organizers, continue looking great and MAKE SURE you introduce your team as experts in organizing social networking events for single, busy professionals. They all know that they are losers anyway, these poor sods, that they’d even pay you GOOD money to meet other single, busy, professionals in a social setting.

THREE

If you have latecomers, especially people who arrive about one hour late than the planned time, because they were too busy to plan their work properly and leave the office earlier in order to meet your stipulated time, implement step TWO and be very pointed about them being late to YOUR event. MAKE SURE that you don’t have anyone on stand by at the front door or the restaurant entrance so that when these sorry sods arrive, they’d feel so embarrassed standing alone at the door, not sure where to go, that they’d learn their lesson and never be late again for YOUR SOCIAL NETWORKING event THAT THEY HAD PAID FOR EARLIER. The key here is to make them feel so unwelcome so that they’d remember to be on time next time.

FOUR

Halfway into the event, just as they begin to look rather comfortable (or less shy) with each other, intrrupt them to officially introduce yourself and your team, emphasizing again on your collective experience of running these shindigs. Then you hand out pencils and pieces of paper containing some senseless questions, incomplete sentences or empty boxes. Tell those sods that they need to go on a manic rush to get all answers or matches within a stipulated time (the shorter, the better. Try 45 seconds and cut it from there). Once this mad frenzy is finished, announce the ‘fastest’ and ’slowest’ networkers, applaud the one with the most completed answers and punish the slowest sod with some humilitating command. Get them to sing, say out a poem, gyrate their hips or something like that. The more embarrassing the task is, the better. It shows how much of an expert you are, because single, busy professionals are always the best group to embarrass, because they don’t have partners like the rest of us NORMAL people.

FIVE

Never ever ask for feedback. You never need to improve on perfection, do you? Besides, what would those busy, single, busy professionals know about meeting other people in a social setting anyway? YOU are the experts in this area, aren’t you?