Salsa, Boy-boy and light sabers

No Salsa classes for the current week or two (it's Salsa, not Nausea, anyway).

BB is having his exams now, and I'm happy that his first paper on Monday was all right. He's not too thrilled about today's paper, the system engineering one - but when I told him that going through the exam is better than being dead, he stopped complaining (he he he) Unfortunately, it works both ways - he wont let me say anything about being middle-aged to his youthful 24 - he just uses my retort and reminds me that hey, I'm alive! Smart aleck.

So far, it has not been a one night stand (who has the energy to stand for the whole night, you tell me?) and interestingly, some of his friends are treating me like an Agony Aunt of sorts. One has an issue with an ex-girlfriend, who's calling and texting him with updates on an early pregnancy that she is so confident was caused by a certain activity that they both indulged in, a week after they broke up. Apparently, my "they have phone help lines and counseling services for these" didnt stop him from telling me how much sleep he's losing over this issue. He's totally confident that the baby's not his (a certain Michael Jackson song is playing at the back of my mind - is it Billie Jean?) and since a planned trip to a clinic for a D&C appointment did not happen, the boy's freaking out. She's threatening to tell her mom, his mom, his grandma, and face it - txt messages that read "congratulations, u r still a dad" are creepy to me. When he asked her what she wanted from him (marriage, money, a hold-her-hand while she's at the clinic, another romp in the hay) she couldnt answer. He asked for suggestions and mine were:

1. Ignore her for 12 hours. Leave the phone calls unanswered, messages unreturned
2. Ignore her for another 12 hours. See how that goes
3. Call her bluff. It's time to step up as a man and be very firm with his belief that it's not his, if he truly is 100% confident about it. Face the family. Ask for support. Blood CAN be thicker than water.
   

If no resolution is in sight still, I suppose I can offer to them my wire hanger-wielding skills. At least that would prompt SOME action. Last that I heard, he told me that she told him that she needs now to check with HER ex (no, I didnt check for the order of appearance of the cast members) before she makes another appointment at the baby clinic.

Moral of the story? Use condoms.

But seriously, folks -

I struggle to fight the urge to put my hands into this mess of a vindaloo. I honestly feel like going to the girl and just taking her to get a proper check-up and then getting her view of this. Find out her map of her territory. What's the situation now, what she feels about this, what she wants to do, how she wants to do it. Even if she really is the befuddled airhead that she's being made out to appear, there's still a tiny little life growing in her belly and that life needs to be considered. Get her to see what will be in store for her future should she decide to keep the baby (my earlier suspicion was that she was not even pregnant) . I want her to see how having a baby now and raising this child will impact her life, her daily activities. Then I will get her to decide what to do.

But why is this keeping me awake on this Wednesday morning? It's because children are such gifts - I have friends who have done everything they could to have their own bundle of joy, but no success. My heart breaks for the baby's soul everytime a tiny lifeless body is found abandoned in bathrooms or in the trash (what an outrage!) and also for the young mum, who in her time of need, felt that she had no one to turn to. To feel most alone during this time is not an envied feeling. That's why I told the friend to go back to the family. Call her bluff. Create your support system. Growing old is compulsory (many would object, naturally) but growing up is optional. Muzukashi, neh? Difficult, but a necessary step to take, this growing up. Decisions need to be made. It's not about just one person, or even two (the young man and woman) - this decision now involves a tiny little soul.

Children - so precious. I know my brother watches his daughters sleep so that he can remember how peaceful they are while they are sleeping and how fiercely he feels that his responsibility as a father is to ensure that his children get the best things in life.

If all else fails, I'll still have my wire clothes-hanger. I'll wield THAT like a light saber and scare them into making a wise decision!

Where exactly does it hurt?

I can tell you where and when exactly does Chemotherapy hurt you.

Where: all over your insides, especially the bad parts that the poisonous drug is supposed to target and kill, kill, kill.

When exactly does Chemotherapy hurt you?

1. When the freezing drug is about to enter your blood vessel,
2. When you're throwing up bile

But folks, it sure beats being dead.

Cycling home

While having lunch just now, I chanced upon yesterday's newspaper. One news item caught my eye - about a young man who graduated from university and is riding his bicycle home. Pretty normal, one might think, until you explore the article to find out that he graduated from Duke University in North Carolina and and he's cycling home to Taiping from USA. He pedalled off from Los Angeles, reaching Washington DC in 38 days, covering a distance of 5,625km. He started his European leg early this week, with about 15,000 km to go. He gets to hop on and off airplanes, of course, since he cant pedal his way across the oceans.

His journey reminds me of a book that I read last 2 years: the Memory of Running by Ron McLarty. Smithson 'Smithy' Ide is a 279-pound, hard-drinking, chain-smoking, 43-year-old misfit who works in a G.I. Joe factory putting arms and legs on the action heroes. After his parents died in a car accident, Smithy finds a letter to his father about Bethany, his sister, stating that, "Bethany Ide, 51, died from complications of exposure... and she has since that time been in the Los Angeles Morgue West." Bethany, given to taking off her clothes in public places, holding impossible poses for long periods of time, responding to voices that only she can hear, and disappearing for no known reason.

When he reads the letter, he is drunk and alone. He goes out to the garage to smoke and have another drink and spies his old Raleigh bicycle. He sits on it, wheels it to the end of the driveway and started pedaling. He ended up cycling across the country from Long Island all the way to California. On the road he meets the good, the bad, and the really bad. He frequently calls Norma, the Ides' neighbour, confined to a wheelchair for years.

Nothing I say can do justice to this book. It's a simple story, told with simple words, yet the author managed to paint the picture of Smithy's trip and I could see all the colors, feel what the people in those stories were feeling. It's not a sappy story, eventhough I did shed some tears reading it (but then that's just me - I can weep just from watching some TV commercials LOL). Far from it - it's about unconditional love that travels across thousands of miles through the telephone line and the strength that it brings. It's about fun stuff too, and how life is made up of all sorts of experience and stories.

I highly recommend it. Great for vacations or even for that afternoon at home.

Oh ya - to find out more about young Law's cycle home, go to http://www.crazyguyonabike.com/doc/longwayhome

That deathly hallows book

Got it. Spent half the weekend with it. Finished it. Not too crazy about some of the parts in the middle. Got caught up in the excitement near the end.

One newspaper report kind of sums it up for me: "when was the last time we were excited about a book?"

To prepare for the final book, I read book 6 again. By the time I finished, the momentum was there and my journey into book 7 began nicely. Took it along to Gaby's house for dinner (with Evie and a few others) and it kept me company while they played mahjong. Continued after arriving home at midnight and finished it about 2 hours later.

What a story.

The water slide is here

Y mailed me photos of our Rawa Island vacation. I'm already thinking of my next trip there...

Here's my fav spot to read and relax.

Watching the sunset with a cold drink - the best thing to do there.

The water slide - favored by kids and adults alike!

Recharged, rested, browned ;-)

I finally went on a short vacation. Every year, me and Y, my college buddy, would go on our Cuti Cuti Malysia trip. She's a snorkeling fanatic, and learning diving as well. As for me, I'm just happy to tag along and enjoy quiet times by the beach where I'd be going through the same routine cheerfully:

1. before leaving the room / hut / chalet, I'd slather sunblock / tanning oil (depending on whether I feel like I want to marinade myself with cream or oil
2. pack my canvas tote with my book(s), sunblock, tanning oil, mineral water, small change (for ice cream yum yum), shades (not the Combat head teacher, but my sunglasses hehe), notepad / journal, beach towel or face towel
3. find my spot on the beach and make myself comfortable on the sand or on the deck chair
4. wave to Y occasionally when she sees that I'm out already
5. take a dip in the sea
6. come back and return to my reading / writing / snoozing
   
7. repeat steps 4 to 6 as often as I like

What I didnt know about Rawa Island is the fact that it looks exactly like the pictures. Many times I have seen places that made me think "which angle did the photographer take the photo from?" because they have no resemblance WHATSOEVER to the brochure pictures promoting the place.

The water was clear and the beach was clean. We could snorkel right in front of the beach, much to Y's delight. We started our journey at about 7:00 am and we drove down to Mersing. The boat ride took about 35 mins and I was relieved to find the island jetty to be of the higher version, where I wont have to wade towards reception with my knapsack in tow (I was prepared for that, anywho). Walking along the jetty, I saw how the jetty's function was expanded: there was a water slide built into the jetty infrastructure. There were already kids screaming in delight when we arrived. Did I mention that the water was so clear we could see the corals and the fish swimming about when we look down from the jetty?

In the evenings, after dinner, I'd walk along the jetty. I'd look up and see the stars and recgnize one or two constellations. Even though I have very short hair, I could still feel the breeze ruffling them. Looking out, I could see yellow and white lights from other islands and fishing boats blinking in the distance. The guy who takes care of the sea sports hut told us that if the water's cool enough, black-tipped sharks would swim up right until the spot where the water slide is. I didnt see it when I was there even though I kept a lookout for the 2-metre fish.

I definitely will return to Rawa Island. I promise.


Images courtesy of rawasfr.com

Istanbul, 1999

I watched a travel channel documentary last week about Istanbul. It reminded me of my own visit there in 1999. It was another work assignment, and I was there for a couple of weeks. The first time ever a job took me out of the home country. The images are blurry in my mind now, but the feelings come back sometimes. Visiting the Spice Bazaar just across the road from the Bosphorus river, enjoying pistachio ice cream in front of Topkapi Palace, haggling for scarves and lace tablecloths at the weekend market. Walking along the cobblestone lanes of Atakoy. It was winter, and the sun set at about 4:30pm every day; which was fine with me as it was Ramadan when we were there, working on the new Ataturk international terminal project. Our site office was located there, and every evening we would join the airport staff in the cafeteria for Iftar before returning back to our hotel or flat.

The funny thing to me was how we were perceived by a few of our Turkish colleagues. Some of them ridiculed our choice to observe prayers and fasting, calling us 'ridiculous' for praying and fasting. One young woman, I remember, actually came up to me and asked me "Dont tell me you actually do *those* things?" Having been forewarned by a senior colleague that had been there earlier, I responded just with a small smile. I found out that she and her friends had come from the richer families and eventhough they proudly claimed themselves to subscribe to religion, they associated themselves more with the secular way of life. They even told me that "only poor people pray and fast here" while puffing away at their special Turkish blend non-flitered Camels.

As much as they made their statements clear, I also made it clear that I was there to work; and my job was to ensure that the system administrators went through the training meant for them and the selected trainers were adequately instructed to conduct end-user training courses. I did feel rather intimidated by them at first, with their rather aggressive style of communication. I just stuck to the bottom line: it's fine if they, at the last minute, decide to not show up for their training. I showed them the draft of my report that our training was scheduled, trainer & equipment were ready - it was their choice to disobey instructions and not attend. I didnt wait for them; I had proceeded with training the trainers for the end-users. Them towering over me made me feel a bit nervous. But hey - I may be short, but I still ran the show. Things went well in the end, and I was glad to return home after my assignment.

Perhaps the colleagues that I experienced was just a tiny slice of the people there. I'm not sure. For a few years I decided not to plan any vacations to Istanbul. But I suppose the ice around my heart have melted a bit too. I am actually thinking of returning there. There's something about that city that appealed to me, appeals to me still.

- Image courtesy of gnarlydorkette's blog -

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Of course it wasnt a bloody Sunday; I was just referring to the U2 song :-)

After many weekends working on materials for upcoming training sessions, I decided to take last Sunday off from my normal schedule and treat myself to a homing Sunday. It started off in a pretty normal way - me waking up to make a steaming mug of NESLO (yummy yummy) and then snuggling back under the bedcovers with a book. This lasted for half an hour. My mind wandered off to the living room, going through my furniture layout. I had visited Cavenzi a couple of weekends back and the dining room set that was displayed there really caught my eye. Before I knew it, I was out in the living room, rearranging my furniture. Now the TV rack is moved to another side of the wall and funnily enough, I found out that I could get all my subscribed satelite TV channels from this new position! Now, isnt that interesting?

That discovery pretty much influenced my decision on what to do for the rest of the day. I watched a few movies and discovered several interesting stuff:

1. In The Bodyguard (Cinemax), the actor who played the assassin who was hired to kill Whitney Houston's character in the movie, Tomas Arana, was the same guy who played Quintus, head of Caesar's Pretorian guards in the Russel Crowe vehicle Gladiator. Arana also played the renegade crew member of Red October, in the Alec Baldwin-Sean Connery hit, The Hunt for red October. Arana played the cook who sabotaged the nuclear sub (and shot Sam Neil 'I've always wanted to see Montana')'s character.
   
2. The actress who played Carmen's mum in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Star Movies) was the same actress who played Melina, Arnold Schwartzenegger's love interest in the 1990 movie Total Recall. If she looks familiar to you, it's probably because you saw her also in Nic Cage's Con-Air. She played security guard Sally Bishop in that movie. BTW, Ugly Betty's America Ferrera played the role of Carmen in the Sisterhood movie.
   
3. In one of Midsomer Murders' episodes (Electric Vendetta), the actor who played Lloyd Kirby looked so familiar. Then I remembered where I had seen him. He played one of the Imperial Officers in 2 of the Star Wars movies (episode V and VI). According to my trusty source, IMDB, he's the only actor to play an Imperial officer in more than one Star Wars film (not including the extras, naturally). I suppose that's understandable, considering the fact that other Imperial officers were killed off in battle with the rebel alliance or killed by Darth Vader within 2 minutes of screen time.

I guess it was a bloody Sunday after all. A bloody good Sunday! :-D

What a month so far!

It's been hectic. Some of the times it's been fun, some of the times, it just sucks. One fun time was the Line Dance party at OUG club on June 9, courtesy of our instructor, Bernard Lim. At our FF The Curve table was Shelli, me, Aurelius, Wai N, Nelly and Evie. In the photo below, we were still freah cos we just arrived.After that we were joined by Gabby, Zainal (who was dressed in white like his friends from FF Maxis on the table next to ours) and Eddie. Bernard stepped on to the Ballroom stage and welcomed everyone soon after that. We started off with a couplle of familiar songs, and it was good to see almost everyone on the ballroom floor, dancing. Bernard started each song with a quick recap of the steps, and by 8pm the food arrived. We took a break to enjoy dinner and each others' company. Throughout the evening, there were lucky draws (Nelly got a bottle of Vitamin C, I think) and here we are, in a photo with Bernard. From left - Nelly, Wai N, Zainal, me, Bernard, Evie, Shelli, Aurelius and Gabby.

We all had a lot of fun. We car-pooled on the way to OUG Club and back (yeh, very environmental friendly) and there were members from FF gyms + 1 or 2 other gyms. That black tee that Bernard's wearing the photo was designed by members of FF Axis. The whole gang wore the tees. Bright colors on black, with the words 'Line dance funk' under the logo. There were a couple of tables full of members of another FF gym, next to us, who really came over in full force. I remember one of them kept on taking his shirt off. It started with the unbuttoned shirt in the middle of the evening, and ended with the emergence of the hairless chest at the end of the party.

There were mini 'competitions' of who could do the loudest and the longest 'yaaaaaaaaaaaa.... mmmmmm.......SEENG!!!!!' between a table near us and another accross the room. There were also table screams, prompted by the MC (an FF member) who made us (DO WE HAVE REPRESENTATIVES FROM FF THE CURVE???) shout twice because to her we sounded like we didnt eat rice for 300 days (ok she didnt say that, that was my interpretation heh heh) While we did our best to mime ourselves shouting (I think FF Axis tables shouted on our behalf - a lot of howling and shouting that night lah). A couple of more shouts and antics would have reminded me of a school dinner or gathering back in 1989 :-> I was grateful that she didnt ask for howls from the FF Manulife, because I know for a fact that only 2 people represented that club. We'd have to hope for assistance from Axis tables again for them, I suppose.

She helped Bernard with the emceeing and she was extremely handy during the lucky draw segments. Her running commentary on the big prizes and the grand prize (kisses from Bernard to spending a night with him, 'in any position you like') plus her juicy remarks on guys coming up to receive their gifts all wet and slick and a host of other remarks made me and Shelli reminisce of similar dinners with Joanne Kam Po Po.

We closed the line dance funk party with Hellogoodbye's 'Here in Your Arms', a definite FF Curve favorite. We left after midnight, sweaty and happy, and kudos for Bernard for hosting such a fun evening :-D

Cantankerous no more

I've changed. Still changing, in fact. One thing for sure, I'm not broken any more now. I'm healing. In a lot of areas, I'm already healed. I'm now more focused on what I want, instead of being focused on what I dont want. I see the world differently now. For the first time I believe and I see that opportunities are abundant.

A major part of my healing came from the release of limiting decisions and major negative emotions like unwarranted anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt. This means I am cured from being cantankerous and tormenting. I have released the need to justify shoestring budgets and limitations. I finally learn what it means to want something, especially something good and great for me. With my hat full of stars, I am cantankerous no more.

For those who havent heard the song 'Hat Full of Stars' by Cyndi Lauper, it is worth a listen. I love the whole album. To me, it felt like I was sitting with a good girlfriend and she's sharing with me her precious stories, thoughts and experiences. I graduated from cassette to audio cd and mp3 for this album; something that I can only say about 4-5 other albums since 1990.

The lyrics are below. Enjoy ;-)

Hat Full of Stars: Cyndi Lauper
I was folding up your letters
Unpacking winter clothes
Searching for my hat
I thought I left it by the door
So I tore around the room
Like a bird without a head
I saw your picture waving back at me
From underneath the bed
From a long, long time ago

When all I had
Was a hat full of stars
The one I'll always treasure
The one that you wore
You loved the look
But you never looked inside
You would have seen us there
You could've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars

I'm trying to live in the present
But I keep tripping on the past
Finding out reality, well
Clarity Comes in dribs and drabs
No we never had the time
For everything we had
So it felt like we had nothing
That's what makes this hat so sad
It was a long, long time ago

When all we had
Was a hat full of stars...
...You would have seen us there
You could've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars

Now whenever I'm alone
And I think I might forget
I wear my lucky hat
Just like a crown up on my head -
'Cause all I have
Is a hat full of stars...
If you could see me now
You would've seen far
You should've seen the magic
In my hat full of stars...

You can make good connections!

Would you like to establish instant rapport? Firstly, here's what I learned about rapport in my NLP Practitioner training. Rapport is when the people you talk to accept your suggestions unquestioningly.

So, how much would learning about establishing instant rapport be relevant to you?
:-)

I subscribe to Jamie Smart's NLP coaching tip, which I find extremely helpful for me as I continue to view the world through my new eyes. I extract the tip and do continue reading to find out more. See you again before the end of this post, after you finish reading his tip.

ENJOY!

*******************
How to establish instant rapport through language
From Jamie Smart, Director of Training (May 31, 2007)

...Several years ago, I was doing some executive coaching for a large multinational, & I was due to meet with the sales director & one of his managers. I stopped by to have a word with the manager prior to the meeting, who warned me not to mention the sales figures. He explained that the numbers had been very low; that the director had been in a bad mood all day, & would go mad if I mentioned the figures.

When the manager & I walked into the director's office, the first words out of my mouth were "Hi, I hear the sales figures sucked this month." The manager cringed, waiting for the inevitable explosion, but the director just laughed, shook my hand & said "Yeah, but it's time to move on." We immediately got down to business& had a successful meeting, with no further mention of the dreaded sales number.

Meet them at their map of the world

You begin to establish rapport when you meet someone at their 'map of the world'. As humans, we have a natural tendency to get "in-sync" with one another over time, but it's possible to speed the process up dramatically.

Our brains contain "mirror neurons" that help us understand how another person is feeling, make predictions about what they're going to do next, & learn through imitation. We can use our neural heritage to make guesses about what the other person is thinking & feeling.

Next time you have a chat or meet with a person, ask yourself "What's it like to be them right now?" Make a guess about what the other person is thinking & feeling. If appropriate, acknowledge it in your language. The statement you make can range from the specific to the general.

For instance:
. In the case of the sales director, where I had specific information about his likely focus of attention, saying "Hi, I hear the sales figures sucked this month" was a very specific way of saying to him "I understand what you're feeling".

· To a policeman I was chatting to in Dublin last weekend who said that he thought NLP was a load of nonsense, I said "When people are sceptical about this stuff, I usually tell them that they're right to be sceptical. After all, until you've experienced just how powerful this can be for you in your own life, why would you have any reason to be otherwise?" Suddenly he became curious & asked to see the cards I was showing someone else. (If you recognise this sentence from a previous tip, it's because I've started to use this as a 'stock response' whenever someone expresses scepticism about NLP.)

· In the case of a group of 500 teenagers I spoke to last year, I said "Hi guys. It's Monday morning, and we're all here at assembly, and you've all come here for a reason, so as you sit here listening to me, you may be wondering 'What has this guy got to say that's going to be interesting & valuable to me & my life?' The majority of the group immediately became attentive & engaged.

It's worth noticing something about my actions in these three situations:

· In the case of the sales director, my statement was based on information received a few minutes earlier.

· In the case of the teenagers, I planned it out the day before the talk.

· In the case of the policeman, I responded in the moment to what he said (but I did use a stock phrase).

Prepare some 'stock responses' for situations that crop up regularly in your life.
Taking a few minutes to do this today can massively increase your speed & effectiveness in connecting with people.

Notice the response you get.
Of course! Whatever you do or say, notice the responses you get. People always respond, & when you're focusing your attention on them, you can get valuable information about the impact you're having.

Next time, we'll be looking at some other ways to get the kind of powerful rapport that paves the way for powerful coaching interactions (& powerful interactions of all sorts).

I'll also be unveiling a powerful new resources for people who want better coaching skills (I'm really excited about this one, & it's taking all my willpower not to tell you all about it this week!)

Have lots of fun connecting with people.

Best wishes

Jamie

Jamie Smart
director of training
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
********************************************
So guys, what do you think?

If you have questions you want to ask about NLP, drop me a mail. If you want to find out where you can learn NLP and become a certified practitioner, get in touch with Carsten by clicking here. This is the center where I successfully completed my Certification in NLP, Timeline Therapy, Hypnotherapy and Certified NLP Coach programs that I had started studying in middle of March this year. Carsten also conducts 2-hour previews about the NLP certified practitioner program where you can see what's in the training program. You can find out more about these previews on his website too. If you want to go and would like me to meet you there, get in touch with me to discuss schedules.

Now, if you like Jamie's tip I featured today and wish to learn more, subscribe to Jamie's tips by clicking on www.saladltd.co.uk/tip_signup.htm

In the meantime, ENJOY MAKING GOOD CONNECTIONS WITH PEOPLE! I'm grateful to have learnt this myself.

Upcoming project: Home Office

Looks like the volume of my work is increasing and I need additional space for my one on one coaching. I will need a dedicated space for a home office now, and the only place that fits my requirement would be my current walk in wardrobe. I may need to move that to the third room. Major cleanup would be needed, and I will need to remove 2 cupboards from there. This would be interesting...

Weekends are for recharging the batteries :-)

Time and time again I'm reminded of the importance of weekends. I had had a rather intensive weekend last 2 weeks; what with focusing on my certification for NLP coach and concentrating on 1 heavy duty report for my main business documents client. Last weekend, though, was just great. I spent most of Saturday at home, working on my Yugen Ideas website, taught myself FTP too. I got a little bit impatient with TV over the weekend, so I spent more time with my books. Sunday was spent looking for a signature piece for my living room i.e. a 6' TV cabinet. I also went to the gym with C and met up with R for lunch. I listened to my Timeline Therapy CDs and read my notes + textbook to prepare for this weekend's Timeline Therapist certification program and I enjoyed floating above my timeline. I felt like a plane. Today, I feel very relaxed and energetic. More ready to face what will come my way. Now I'm planning which Shrek meal toy to get from McDonalds :-)

I'm grateful for weekends!

Action!

I was in a small party last night and I got a lot of questions about what I do. I basically work with people who are very frustrated (ya there are many, true, but then we are all merely human, right?) because they either cant come up with a solution for a problem that theyre dealing with for a long time, or they cant see their way out of a sticky problem, or all the solutions theyve implemented just are not working. I work with them to identify the source of their problem and together with them design an action plan that is guaranteed to work.

Based on NLP and Action Learning, I bring my clients to the outcome that they desire.

Here's a bit of info from the International Foundation of Action Learning:

Action learning involves working on real problems, focusing on learning and actually implementing solutions. It is a form of learning by doing.

Pioneered by Professor Reg Revans and developed worldwide over the last 35 years, it provides a well-tried method of accelerating learning which enables people to handle difficult situations more effectively.

Action learning is based on a radical concept: L = P + Q Learning requires Programmed knowledge (i.e. knowledge in current use) and Questioning insight. It also uses a small group to provide challenge and support: individuals learn best with and from one another as they each tackle their own problem and actually implement their own solution.

The process integrates: research (into what is obscure); learning (about what is unknown); and action (to resolve a problem) into a single activity and develops an attitude of questioning and reflection to help individuals and organisations change themselves in a rapidly changing world.

And I love it :-)

Yes, Prime Minister

I'm a big fan of DVD box sets, starting from the time I received 'The Pretender' set for my birthday. When I'm at home, I watch my favorite stuff and among them are:

1. Black Adder series (esp seasons 2, 3)
2. The Thin Blue Line, also with Rowan Atkinson
3. Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister
4. Shogun
5. Peter Seller's Pink Panther movies

The only reason I keep my satelite TV channel is because of Midsomer Murders on Hallmark and BBC Entertainment.

Parts, integrated

Have you experienced some sort of conflict inside you? If you have, it's very highly likely that you have got a part inside you, that is not congruent with your whole being. A part can be seen as a blockage or basically a segment that holds the problem; while the whole is your complete being. It's good to think that a whole is bigger than the sum of the parts. Because, once we eliminate conflict inside us, that problematic part will integrate with our whole being, resulting in congruence or inner harmony.

Now, look inside you. Is there a part inside you that believes sometimes that you are not good enough? Not smart enough? Not beautiful enough? Do you believe in this completely or do you have this belief as a conflict ie sometimes you believe that youre not good enough, but on the other hand, there are many instances where you know that youve achieved success ie that you ARE good enough. These 'on the other hand' situations reflect conflict.

And now, picture yourself, for one moment, being free from this conflict. You would be believing completely that you are good enough / loved enough / deserving enough of all the blessings that you have received every day of your beautiful life. How does the picture look to you? How do you feel? Once free from conflict and totally at peace with yourself, do you think you can achieve anything you want to do? YOU BET.

I know I did. I know I needed to eliminate conflict as much as know how much I was a conflicted being. But I was afraid to want it eliminated. To avoid disappointment when goals are not met, I dont set goals. I thought I did, but I didnt. When I studied Parts Integration in my NLP Certified Practitioner training, I went in whole-heartedly. I didnt think it was achievable - hell, I thought it was IMPOSSIBLE to eliminate conflict inside me. How could I free myself from this after 30 years? Wouldnt it take me the rest of my life to eliminate conflict? It took me around 20 minutes, actually. 20 minutes to work with a fellow practitioner and discover the highest intention of my problematic part, the highest intention of my harmonious whole, and the meaning of this intentions and what they would do for me. When I reached my breakthrough, I saw and felt the barrier dissolve. I saw inside me 2 identical me's, beneath the dissolving bubble. I expected the 'whole me' to pull my 'problematic part me' towards integration. What happened though, was something more beautiful. I saw the me that represented the problematic part reach out her hands towards the me that represented my integrated whole. I felt her reaching out for help. I felt the warmth and comfort when the two 'me's came together in one big hug. I felt so calm, at peace, welcomed and loved. By me.

I've started this journey to discover what I really want in life, setting the goals that will be harmonious internally, and achieving my potential. I'm really grateful to God for this awareness. :-)

First, Break All the Rules

Choowie wrote about one of my favorite books in his post on the reasons why people leave their jobs. When I first read Marcus Buckingham's First, Break All the Rules, I was flummoxed. The things that I had gut feel about could be proven with facts and concrete examples. People leave their jobs mainly because of their supervisors. Go get the book - you may not agree with all the ideas in there, but there's enough thought in there to spark some interesting discussions and new awareness in the areas of satisfaction at the workplace, methinks.

Sunshine

I won passes to watch Danny Boyle's movie, Sunshine. I gave the other 3 passes to Jennie, Chris and Ayu, and we met up in GSC 1U to watch the movie. After surrendering our mobile phones, we settled into our seats. There were some funny games and stuff, courtesy of the host, and then, before we knew it, the movie came on. Great CGIs. Stuff really needed to be seen on the big screen. The dying sun, the space shuttle Icarus 2, the oxygen garden. AND naturally, my hero, Hiroyuki Sanada (you'd need Quicktime to view that video there).

Even after so many weeks, some parts of the movie are still in my brain. The trip to the sun alone, took more than 18 months. In the movie, it wouldve taken the astronauts another 2 years or so for them to return to earth. Imagine that. A 4-year assignment where you'd be living with the same 7 people. Be with them, and only them, for 4 years. I'm not too wild about the movie, and I've been through the discussion topics on IMDB.com, lambasting the movie's Hollywoodization of the science of our sun and the rest of the solar system. To them I say this: there are a few instances in life where judgement, and up to a certain extent, reality, need to be suspended in order to enjoy the moment or to have some sense of reason behind actions. Hell, we go through this suspension of belief on a daily basis sometimes. Where, you might ask me? The workplace, for one. To make family relationships work, would be another instance. So I suspended my own personal judgement watching that movie. One poignant moment for me was when the Icarus crew arrived near Mercury. I figured if I were an astronaut, a botanist, a physicist or a pilot, and I was on a mission to save my planet, I too would be in awe watching Mercury orbiting the sun.

Interesting movie, and an absolutely interesting soundtrack.

A few more quirky things

I never thought of these things before, and they came automatically to mind while I was on the walkalators in Ikano power center. I realised that there are one or two more weird things about me that are, well - kinda weird *LOL*

1. I like to arrange my money so that all notes face the same way in my wallet. I like my bills to be in order, and in neat groups i.e. the 1 ringgit notes with the other 1 ringgit notes and the like. I feel very cluttered when they are not in order.
2. I like to watch people sleep. I think that's when we're totally rested and relaxed. I feel calm myself when I see the calm faces of sleeping people :)
3. I like to read everywhere. In the airport, on the plane, on the treadmill, while I eat, in bed, in the bathroom, while waiting for anything and anyone - I always have a book with me. I remember when I was a kid, I'd hunt for my Enid Blyton books whenever I'm about to sit down and eat. My mum would always say 'there she goes - just like her father, always looking for a book before eating.'

I think that'll do for now.... :)

I've been TAGGED

Shanti tagged me and looks like I'm almost the last to do this :-)

RULES to this tagging game: People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

I've been observing and 'snooping around' I notice that many of us share some of the things we may think are weird. I know now, for instance, that there are also a few more people out there who dance in the car when they hear music they like, talk to themselves - with hand gestures too, wash their feet before bedtime (my mum always reminded us to do that when we were children), and dont let me start on the OCD'esque characteristics that are common to quite a few of us!

Nevertheless, here's my attempt at a list.

Weird thing about me number 1:
I sometimes have a problem with simple things. I understand complex concepts easily but I have difficulty to simplify it and explain it to others. When I helped my uncle tutor his classes in college sometimes, I used to get the students to list out the topics they had problems with and then get other students to share their ideas to help the rest to understand it. Then I'd ask more questions and later tie things up for closure. Turned out that's what's called 'facilitating'. Heh.

Weird thing about me number 2:
I love watching 'Bob the Builder' on Playhouse Disney Channel. I still harbour hopes that Bob and Wendy will get together. They were THIS close to getting it on in the episode where Wendy filled in for Bob's Line Dance sick partner. The kids never pick up on the underlying sexual tension between those two...

Weird thing about me number 3:
I love the combination of McDonald's ice cream cone with french fries. I love taking the fries and dipping them into the ice cream cone. In fact, I feel like one now :-)

Weird thing about me number 4:
Because I like my things the way I like them, I used to go ballistics when people move my things. This caused havoc when Chris had a housekeeper clean my apartment as a suprise. The woman told him I 'looked like a hawk who just returned to her nest' when I walked in through the door. I started moving my sofa back a few inches to where it was before, for starters. The rest - sufice to say I keep my own house now.

Weird thing about me number 5:
I have a weird sense of humor. Chris says I laugh at the unfunniest things, yet stay unmoved by a lot of the real funny stuff. I watch BBC Entertainment and get tickled pink. He doesnt. Oh well. His dad didnt make him sit down in front of the TV when he was a little kid to watch 'Yes Minister', 'Yes Prime Minister' and 'Mind Your Language'.

Weird thing about me number 6:
I love crispy fried grasshoppers. Bangkok oh Bangkok....

There you have it. I'll tag some other friends when I can. In the meantime, I tag you, dear reader. Tell us about YOUR 6 weird things! :-)