Based on A. F. G. Bell's book 'In Portugal', 1912 , one might make a strong analogy with nostalgia as a feeling one has for a loved one who has died and saudade as a feeling one has for a loved one who has disappeared or is simply currently absent. Like someone you love who went out for a walk along the beach and never came back; you long for every approaching shadow to prelude his or her return, I suppose.
Here's the idea that sparked my exploration into the difference and/or integration of nostalgia and saudade:
"From the beginning he'd consumed liquor only to get drunk. That was half of the equation. The other was the haunting sense that something fundamental to his happiness, his wholeness, been taken from him. When sober, he couldn't name it." [He remembers a trip to Lisbon with his first wife who is a fashion designer.] "...her buyer there...had taken the Parkers out for a night of fados. Fate songs. ... He asked the buyer what the lyrics meant, and the man explained , 'Saudade, my friend...the presence of absence.' "
SOURCE: "Cry Dance" (Kirk Mitchell)
Several days ago, a friend left a comment on this image on my flickr stream that said 'this is a powerful image'. I was curious to what that means - powerful in what way? To me, this image strikes at my core. I still feel like I'm been punched in the center of my chest whenever I look at this photo. But, almost like a glutton for punishment, I return to it repeatedly. Rather like getting injured in kickboxing practice to feel the external aches that match the agony of the internal lacerations.
This image describes the presence of absence that is inside my heart; the moment just before a tear breaks away from my eyelashes and drops onto my cheek; my memories of conflicts caused by past decisions that were taken purely out of urgent necessity.
I'm beginning to realize that this image does not only represents anguish, it also represents hope and growth.
Growth? Like roots to the trees, providing a base and nourishing nutrients: I'm reminded that I am responsible to continue living and learning. My own snapshot of the priceless value of BEING the change that I want to see in the world.
Hope? Like looking forward to the brilliant blue sky that will take over once the rain clouds are gone: perhaps the same being that feels and even inflicts pain (no matter how unintentional) can also brighten up and create joy in their own little corner of the world.
It's about how much we all need to continue fighting the good fight. We all need to be who we are (even if we're described as not soft-spoken and demure), be aware of who we want to be (maybe NOT demure *LOL*) and balance the exploration of these two paths in order to get the best combination of traits that'll help us on the journey to be a good human being.
It's about soldiering on, no matter how tough things may seem, and how bleak the situation looks. It's a reminder to me, first and foremost. It's about aiming for something and going for it, while at the same time accepting the idea that if it's not yours, it could be because someone else needs it more, or you're destined for something else; having faith that every step takes you closer to where you want to (and need to) go.
To me, that's what this image is all about. What does it mean to you?
*the photo's on my flickr stream, http://flickr.com/photos/fazk
