Thursday, May 15, 2008

Being pragmatic or settling for less?

Her latest update, via email:

"He'll be 40 in September, very much a BOY in a grown man's body. I've known him for years and we started dating each other exclusively for a couple of months now.

Us in a snapshot? He calls me 'his girl' and I call him 'my guy'. Some of his friends know me from before also, so I assimilate in group outings easily, as the 'big brother's GIRL'. he's very protective of me, and once, even threatened to take me home straight away when we arrived at a pub and I removed my jacket to reveal a halter neck dress that made me look like a sex symbol. Heh heh. I pouted, he relented. Sex later was bedhead-against the wall-poundingly awesome, I was sore for the whole weekend, honey.

ah but then I digress.

Basically, I wanted 1 man to focus on for the time being and he was there. I suppose he wanted 1 girl to focus on, no complications.

Quite honestly though, connection is not deep. soul mates we are not. It's all right, though. I have a feeling that we both, somehow, chose this option.

I decided to say yes to him when he said 'but I'm not sharing you with any other man' because he was clear about that, and because he committed to me that he won't date other women when I told him I "ain't too crazy about sharing you with other girls, yo" :-)

Once, we went out and ran into a few of my own friends. one of them is a guy that I had connected with before. We shared tears, laughter, dreams, fears, even ourselves, stopping short at sex. He smoldered the whole evening, watching me and my guy. Truthfully, I said yes to my guy because the one whom I believed would be happier spending his life with me, decided to listen to his logical brain and not to his heart.

You must think I've settled for less. At first, I thought so too. Then I decided to stop thinking about it. I've given it enough thought. I'll just live. For now.

The most important thing is -

we always use protection. Heh heh heh"

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